


And He Holds Me So Tight

by orphan_account



Series: And He Holds Me So Tight [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Abuse, BDSM, Bondage, C-PTSD, Captivity, Conditioning, Drugging, M/M, PTSD, Pet Play, Sensory Deprivation, Sex Slave, Slight Starvation, Somnophilia, Stockholm Syndrome, Toys, dark!Blaine, slut shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dark!Blaine kidnaps Kurt and keeps him as a sex slave/pet. This is extremely dark, proceed with caution. From this GKM prompt:</p><p>Kurt's boyfriend keeps him locked up in their house at all times. He's not allowed to leave without supervision, he can't wear clothing, sleeps on the end of the bed and is fed from a bowl on the floor. Basically, Kurt's boyfriend has made Kurt their pet.</p><p>Strict non-con, please. Kurt doesn't want any of this and he's desperate to get out, but he's trapped.</p><p>The only time Kurt is ever allowed to sleep in his bed is after sex, because his boyfriend likes to cuddle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And He Holds Me So Tight

Kurt lost track of the days a long time ago. It was important at the beginning to know how long his like had been like this, but not, here in this too dark room with only a dripping facet for sound, he's almost given up home. His last day count had gone well into the two-hundreds, he's sure it's at least been a year.  
  
A year, his body trembles, not from the persistent chill, but the terror. This is not how he pictured his life, a constant struggle to remember his name. To remember his life outside of this, that he was more than Blaine's pet/boyfriend. Some days, his mind plays tricks and hours slip away so quickly and he only realize the day is over because he's in Blaine's bed, those unmovable, possessive arms as tight on his bruised body as the chain that locks his collar to the bed. He can barely move without Blaine waking, he'd never even make it to the door, chain or no chain.  
  
Today is not like that. Today his mind is so achingly human. Fragile and everything hurts, from his legs, tucked up underneath him, to his head, bowed in a mock of surrender. The metal of the bars are pressing on his back, there is already a pattern there, it fades, usually. This cage is just too small. It's not meant for a person, not meant for Kurt. He just wants out.  
  
  
Five-hundred drips from the faucet, he's been counting, later, and the front door opens. Kurt's heart starts to race, his body shaking even more now that danger is so close. He counts down the thirty-three steps it takes Blaine to get from the door to the bedroom. The light flickers on instantly, blinding Kurt with the brightness.  
  
'Kurt,' Blaine is close to the bars, bent down to unlock the cage and Kurt keeps his head down. He doesn't know if he can manage to speak anything other than hopeless pleas for freedom. It hurts worse when Blaine just looks at him like he doesn't understand that Kurt doesn't want this, it's hard to tell if that's true or if Blaine is just messing with him.   
  
Once the door is open he crawls out, hands and knees are so much stronger these days. 'Did you miss me?' Blaine asks, hand smoothing over Kurt's hair and ending at the collar. Kurt doesn't need to reply, his throat is sore and he is just thankful to be out of the cage. Blaine knows this, Kurt is pretty sure he gets a thrill out of the fear in Kurt's eyes every time he locks him inside. The first time he had gone in the wretched thing still makes his arm ache, and he lets out a whimper.  
  
 _'Please. No, no.' Kurt had begged. Arms and legs kicking out as Blaine had grabbed him from behind. That cage was tiny, he'd never be able to move in there. 'Please,' he cries, tears spilling down his cheeks, he can't handle this, it wasn't right.  
  
Blaine obviously disagreed. He grasped Kurt's collar at the back of the neck and pulled, nearly cutting off his air supply. 'Kurt,' he says it with fondness, 'what happens when you disobey me?' It's a warning, a clear warning.   
  
Kurt couldn't heed it, not this, 'I'll do anything else,' he tried, 'please Blaine, cuff me in the bathroom, the bed, anywhere, just not this.' It just can't happen. There is no way he cannot break while being trapped in that cage like a misbehaved dog. The fingers on his collar tighten, his own hands try to come up when his windpipe is being pressed against too hard.   
  
It's the wrong move to make, Blaine did not like that at all, and with his free hand he grabbed Kurt's and twisted it painfully around his back and stretched it out so it burned with pain. 'Get in the cage Kurt.' and he let go of him completely.   
  
Like cutting the strings off a puppet, Kurt crumbled to the floor, but he doesn't think about the pain. The cage is safe, if he did what Blaine wanted then the pain would stop coming. He scrambled into the cage as quickly as he could with the abused arm clutched to his chest.   
  
'Don't think I'll forget how long you took to get in there,' Blaine glared. He flicked off the light before he left and Kurt didn't see him again for a whole day._  
  
'Kurt, come along,' Blaine's demand breaks Kurt from his awful thoughts and he eagerly follows him to the living room and right past the unlocked front door. The tug in his chest when he sees it is so strong, but he can also see outside the windows, they are in the middle of nowhere and winter is frosting on the glass. He'll never make it to a road before he dies of frost bite, or until Blaine found him and brought him back for a punishment that he probably would not survive. The thought of it makes him lean into Blaine's jean clad leg, he needs to be good today. 'Are you hungry pet?' Blaine bends down just to rub behind Kurt's ear, it's almost comforting.  
  
Kurt pushes into Blaine's hand as a response, he's starving. Yesterday had not gone well and when things end up badly, it always leaves him with a very empty stomach and an even more parched throat. Blaine gets back up, 'lets go eat,' he says and Kurt is close on his heels, only going as far as the small table and kneeling by his two dinner bowls.   
  
Blaine turns to the fridge while Kurt watches. He makes sure to not flinch or move, this is where everything went wrong yesterday. He had thought Blaine had been so busy with the meal that he had tried to sneak into the study. The study held the laptop and Blaine's cellphone, though they both were password protected, he had wanted to try.   
  
Today holds no such hopes, he just wants to eat. Blaine is nearly done anyway, he's pretty sure it's just leftovers from the day before, and soon Blaine is scooping the food into Kurt's bowl. He waits though, waits until Blaine is seated and only when Blaine has sat down and his bare feet rest on Kurt's shoulders does he lower himself down to the bowl and eats.

 

After dinner is the same, Kurt is allowed to use the bathroom, (one of the rare times he's allowed to stand) brushes his teeth, uses the toilet, (lucky, Blaine calls him, Kurt hates that it could be true) and promptly crawls back to the living room. Kneels by the brown loveseat, and waits for Blaine.  
  
This moment, with Blaine humming in the kitchen and the front door is open is one of the worst. The study is also open, a locked up laptop and password protected cell sit in open view on the desk. Even though he knows it's helpless, his entire being is always pulled to that room.  
  
Kurt let's out a surprise hicup when he feels Blaine's hand on his shoulder, it's fleeting, Blaine moves to sprawl on the loveseat. He keeps his hand close, always there in Kurt's line of vision. 'You're quiet tonight, pet. Something on your mind?' Blaine doesn't turn the tv on as usual, instead he is watching Kurt, waiting.  
  
Kurt shakes his head no once, not making eye contact with Blaine, looking anywhere else but those cold hazel eyes. He watches the small tilt of a smile on Blaine's llips, the quirk of an eyebrow. Blaine's hand cups his cheek, trying to force his gaze, 'well,' his thumb dips into his mouth, 'if you're not going to provide conversation, I can think of another way you can please me.' Blaine pulls his hand away and sits up on the cushion, spreads his legs.  
  
Kurt is already sliding in between them before he even realizes it. He hates this, hates how his fingers no longer shake as they undo the button and slowly pull down the zipper. It's not something he wants to do, but that really hasn't mattered to Blaine. If he doesn't do what Blaine wants, there will be something worse. Blaine lifts his hips just enough so Kurt can pull them down, he doesn't take them completely off, it's easier to just do this and then pull them back on. He isn't wearing boxers, and Kurt is slowly palming his half hard dick, wetting his lips and trying to get a few more deep breaths in. Fingers lock behind his head, he covers up his teeth and moves forward.  
  
Blaine's cock tastes almost like a reward, as much as Kurt loathes to admit to himself. He sinks his mouth over the flesh expertly, breathing through his nose and Blaine pulls him closer. Blaine always directs, Kurt just needs to keep his mouth open and not let his teeth press down. 'Like this, don't you pet?' No, no, no, Kurt can't stand it when Blaine whispers lies to him while he does this. He almost chokes when Blaine inches down his throat, a bit more forceful than usual, 'Just what you need, could tell the second I saw you. No one can take care of you like me, they don't even want you. Haven't cared that you've been gone baby.' Kurt can't even block him out, not with the way the words hurt so badly, 'it's okay though, I've got you and you're not going anywhere.' Blaine moans out a curse, fucking Kurt's throat with little care, 'so good, pet. Such my good boy.'  
  
The only way to stop him talking is to get him off quicker. Kurt bobs his head fast, with more speed than Blaine's fingers. Pushes his cock harder into his throat and using his tongue to massage the base. His eyes are wet, tears slipping down his face and he can feel the saliva dripping down his chin. None of that matters though, he just has to get this over with. He'll worry about the mess later, worry about how fucked up his body is since he's grinding against the couch, all of that comes later.  
  
Blaine's hips start rolling up into the wet heat, forces his cock to go so much further than Kurt is used to and he can feel the cough start. The way his breathing almost stops, but it's gone a second later and Blaine's come is filling his mouth. He doesn't think, just swallows like it's water and he's dying of thirst.  
  
Blaine takes his hands off Kurt, as out of breath as Kurt is. He pulls up his jeans, and Kurt is helping the zipper and button on reflex. Hands not so steady now but enough to get them up. He pulls his still hard cock away from the loveseat and closes his eyes when Blaine's hand comes back to his face.  
  
'So good, Kurt,' Blaine compliments, wiping off the saliva off his chin. 'Come on up,' he sounds tired.  
  
Kurt opens his eyes and sees that Blaine is sprawled out again. Carefully he climbs on top and tucks himself into Blaine, forehead pressed against Blaine's chest and fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt. The friction of Blaine's jeans over his bare cock isn't unpleasant, and Kurt is used to sleeping this way. He is already half asleep by the time Blaine's hand starts petting his hair and the tv gets turned on.

 

 _The pain in his arms is starting to get uncomfortable. He can't feel past his wrists, and his neck hurts from holding this position. He's in the cage, feet numb, legs folded under himself with his stomach pressed to his thighs and knees. He hands are outstretched behind him and up, chained to the top of the cage with handcuffs. He thinks, if that was all, then it wouldn't be so terrible, still painful, but not as bad as this.  
  
Headphones over his ears, the expensive noise blocking ones, and a blindfold over his eyes, the leather invading his senses. _ _He has never felt so helpless. This is by far the worst punishment Blaine has given him, the worst he's ever felt, his stomach is so empty, his throat beyond dry and there is a cloudiness beginning to form in his head. How long has he been left here? It feels like days, but Kurt's sense of time is completely off having fallen asleep a few times in this binding.  
  
He can't even know if Blaine is in the room. He's called out to him a few times, begged and pleaded to be let out but he hasn't felt Blaine since he got shuffled in here and did up the restraints. He apologized profusely, for every little thing, to attacking him, to not following his orders, but there is no sound, no touch, no nothing calling back to him.  
  
Just so dark, cold, and his muscles are all cramped, locked in this unnatural position for so long. The bones in his wrist pop when he tries to move them, and he's pretty sure his left shoulder is about to dislocate from the pulling he did earlier. It was already so sore to begin with.  
  
And suddenly, there is a touch.  
  
Blaine's hands are lifting up the headphones, his voice just a whisper but sounds so loud after nothing for so long. 'Kurt, you need to stop struggling.'_  
  
 _'Please Blaine,' Oh god, is that his voice? It's cracking, dry, and so much unlike himself. 'Let me out of here, I want out so badly, can't stay in here. It's hurting me, Blaine, please, let me apologize, let me be good. I'm so sorry for attacking you. It won't happen again. Please,' he tries to continue but his throat aches at the small speech already and he coughs instead, the cough consuming his whole body and making it shudder.  
  
Blaine's hand rubs down his neck, gently pets his shoulder and Kurt leans into the touch as much as he can whimpering quietly. He feels his face heat up when the hand traces over his ass, but they don't linger, trailing on his side and up again. They glide over his neck, land on his lips and this is a test. Kurt opens his mouth instantly, licking the fingers and sucking them in. He doesn't use teeth, just massages them with his tongue and waits.  
  
The fingers don't stay long, remove themselves with a small popping sound, 'okay Kurt,' Blaine says warmly. Kurt listens as he hears him get up and the sound of a key unlocking the handcuffs sounds like a miracle. His arms drop like dead weight to his sides. He will wait till Blaine removes the blindfold, not daring to take it off himself. Blaine does, and Kurt is surprised to see that the room is dim, only one light on far away with a scarf over the shade. Blaine's hands hoist under his arms and helps him out of the cage, the entire time his bones feel like they're creaking, trying to get blood flowing back into the abused limbs. He hisses when he has to put weight on his arms, they feel so weak.  
  
Blaine is sitting with his legs parted on the ground, Kurt comes in between them and bows his head on his chest. He has Blaine's arms wrap around him a breath later and he's only noticing that the shirt he's laying on is drenched in tears that he doesn't remember crying. He can't help it though, that was terrifying, if Blaine is trying to break him then Kurt feels that he's going to succeed if they keep getting worse. He'll break and shatter and his mind will blank out, he has no doubt. Already his fingers are clenching the fabric of Blaine's shirt with all of the strength he has left, and when he feels how hard Blaine's cock is against him he doesn't think twice about what he's about to do next, needs to be forgiven, needs the reassurance that he'll not have to go through that punishment again.  
  
His hands pull away and he lowers himself down obediently, lowers the zipper, undoes the button, and pulls them down just enough. Blaine's cock, already slick and beading with pre-come, makes his mouth water, and he doesn't hesitate to suck it into his mouth. The taste is freeing after having been without anything for so long, he swallows the pre-come, tongues at the slit greedily, needing something to coat his dry throat. He moans at the fullness, the wetness, and doesn't stop sucking.  
  
Blaine is cursing above him, his hips rolling with Kurt's motions, he's so close already, and Kurt tries not to think about why that is. He redoubles his efforts, a hand to his own neck so he can feel when Blaine's cock hits the back of his throat. He's taking him further than he has in the past, his gag reflex only kicking in slightly when Blaine jolts forward and he isn't prepared for it. A swipe to the tip of his head later and Blaine is coming, flooding his mouth in come and he swallows it down eagerly. Licking up the length of Blaine's cock to make sure he gets every last bit, mouthing at his balls, and even the sweat tastes like water to him.   
  
Blaine's hands are pushing on his shoulder, 'Kurt, stop, too much.' Blaine sounds breathless, slumping to the wall behind him and only half doing up his jeans again. Kurt crawls up into him again, kisses Blaine's fingers when they reach out to his face and licks at the skin showing at the collar. Blaine wraps around him again, and he welcomes the warmth it brings. He ducks his head back to Blaine's chest and ignores the rumble of hunger from his stomach.  
  
Under his ear, Blaine's heart is beating so loud, it's oddly calming and Kurt relaxes, boneless, rag-doll like on top of him. He delights in the way Blaine is holding him, the feel of his clothes against Kurt's nude body. The way he kisses the top of Kurt's head, it feels safe here.   
  
He doesn't know how long they stay cuddled, eyes closed, and the hunger feeling far away, not as important. It could be minutes, or hours and he couldn't tell the difference. Eventually though, Blaine pulls him up, carries him over to the living room and sets him down on top of the couch. The coffee table in front of it has a plate full of baked chicken and steamed veggies, a huge glass of water and though he no longer feels the hunger paining him. He lets Blaine feed him small pieces and tip the water glass to his mouth for a drink. _  
  
Waking up is in stages, The touch of fingertips across his back, over his arms. His knees being pulled apart, and legs spread. It's only when the clink of cuffs against his wrists does he truly start to wake. He is facedown on the bed, hands outstretched to the headboard and is looking at a black pillowcase. Blaine's fingertips are wet and tracing down the knob of his spine, determined in their journey down. 'Awake pet?' Blaine's voice is heavy, lust-filled, he can feel the hardness of the man's cock against the inside of his thigh. 'Was having so much fun, you make the best noises when you're not playing scared.' He laughs, body moving up so his mouth is near Kurt's ear, 'can't you feel it Kurt? Your body is just waiting for it's reward.' Kurt turns away from Blaine's face, he doesn't care that by now his body is conditioned to behave under Blaine's hands, he doesn't want this. Even that night where he sucked Blaine's cock after being let out, it was all a means to an end. At least, he keeps telling himself, he hates to think that Stockholm Syndrome may he starting to take hold of his mind.  
  
Blaine's fingers are sliding into the crack of Kurt's ass now, three of them pressing down and when they get to his entrance, it feels welcome. Kurt even feels his hips pull up, getting all three of them inside quicker. 'See Kurt, you love this,' Blaine whispers, 'always so eager now, bet you dream of us, on your knees in front of me or having me fuck into you over and over again.' Each word delivered with a sharp thrust into his ass, they're hitting his prostate and Kurt hates himself for pressing back for more. Blaine is right about the dreams, or nightmares, he can't escape Blaine in any sort of consciousness. 'Bet I could get you to come like this,' Blaine continues, oblivious to Kurt's own distress as usual, 'and then when you're all oversensitive I'll be able to slide right in and fuck your body past it's pain, make you come again from my cock. We both know you are such a slut for it.'  
  
No, Kurt is trying to survive. He's trying to get out of this with as little as damage as possible. He's powerless to stop Blaine, quite literally at his will, to do with as he sees fit.   
  
Blaine is smiling against the base of his neck, right below the collar where it always hurts. He trails his other hand around Kurt's hip and settles it over Kurt's cock that feels like it's been hard for hours. It probably has. It's not going to take a lot for him to come, even the fear of what will happen afterwards is not enough to take Kurt's body out of the training it's acquired. 'Being such a good boy, Kurt,' Blaine starts to stroke, the other still pounding into him. His whole body is surrounding Kurt's, cock hard against Kurt's lower back. 'My pet,' he whispers, mouth near his ear and he bites the lobe sending Kurt's body to rock into him. 'Want you like this always, just should leave you tied to the bed with a toy in your ass. Want you ready and willing pet,' Kurt can't drown out the words. The way they picture in his mind, his body is so close to falling apart, his mind feels the same. 'Wouldn't have to cage you then, you're always just trying to get away and you know that's not allowed.' A hint of anger creeps into his voice, but it's gone in the next breath, 'so good, Kurt. You're perfect. Made for only me, made to be mine.' Kurt can't hold out any longer, body drumming, heart humming, 'come Kurt,' and he's helpless to deny Blaine anything.  
  
His body shakes in the aftershocks, can feel the wetness on Blaine's hand that is reaching up, right till his hand in front of Kurt's face. He cleans it up without a second of hesitation, sucks the fingers clean.  
  
He is still on the last finger when it's pulled away and the fingers in his ass are being drawn out. 'Hands and knees, pet,' Blaine orders, hands gripping Kurt's hips and helping him into the position.   
  
Kurt feels lifeless, loosened limbs, and is still shuddering. 'I-' but he can't figure out how to end that sentence, he doesn't think Blaine heard him anyway. His own hands are gripping the the lower part of the headboard, knuckles already white and Blaine doesn't wait any longer, he slams into Kurt, his cock filling him up with one long thrust.  
  
It's a lot, he's so oversensitive, and when Blaine pulls back and pushes in harder he can't help but let out a high pitched groan. 'Yes,' Blaine is nearly purring at the sounds Kurt can't help keep quiet, 'louder pet,' and the words are said with a smack to his ass. That does make Kurt cry, screaming out curses as Blaine continues to slap him. It's nothing new, but added with Kurt's vulnerability, it feels like so much more. His arms are shaking again, and he's pretty sure the only way he hasn't collapsed is because Blaine's hand around his hip.  
  
'Blaine,' he's out of breath and even speaking is difficult, 'Blaine,' he can't get past the name, just keeps calling it, moaning it when Blaine's cock hits his abused body just right and he can feel his cock start to harden again, even past the pain.  
  
'Fuck Kurt,' Blaine sounds just as wrecked, hips moving out of sync now and Kurt is so thankful that it's going to be over soon. His own moans are being drowned out by Blaine as he gets faster, the sound of their skin so loud, and he's not smacking Kurt anymore but his hips hit the red skin every time they snap together and it's enough of an echo that it never feels like he stopped.   
  
Blaine stills behind him, not coming, not yet, but pulling back. Kurt almost looks behind him to see what Blaine is doing, but Blaine is pulling him back, on top of him and stretching the cuffs to the max as Kurt finds himself in Blaine's lap, impaled on his cock. The angle has Blaine's cock right up against his prostate, and Kurt is unaware he's even moving until he hears the chuckles at his ear. 'Told you, pet. Such a whore for it, aren't you?' Blaine thrusts up and Kurt chokes on his own saliva with the surprise. Like this, Blaine is everywhere, his head next to Kurt's, and it feels so intimate, so much unlike everything else, the only focus Kurt has is the pain in his wrists as they chafe against the metal. Yet, even that seems to go away when Blaine rocks his hips upward and a hand resumes on Kurt's cock. Least it's wet, and Blaine is going fast now, Kurt meets the pace, letting whatever sounds spill out of him and that seems to be enough for Blaine. He thrusts up a few more times in a quick secession and then is coming into Kurt, biting onto the skin of Kurt's collar as he rides out his orgasm.  
  
It's the end for Kurt, so used to mixing pain and pleasure that he comes over Blaine's fist for the second time and then slumps forward the second Blaine pulls him off. Even the mess on the comforter that smears against his skin doesn't bother him. It's not like he doesn't have Blaine's come spilling out of his ass. 'So good, pet,' Blaine coos. 'Love you,' he tells and Kurt turns his face into the pillow. He can't stand to hear that, not that one, he trembles when Blaine curls up next to him, hands so possessive on his skin and tries to focus on the blood running down his wrists, that has to be better than this.

 

 _The first day was the worst. Kurt is so disoriented upon wakening. He can feel the bed under him, the cold metal on each wrist, but his body is burning. Flushed from head to toe and so hard that he is unconsciously rutting up to whatever that was on top of him. That is, until the thing started moving, breathing, and he finally opened his eyes.  
  
Hazel eyes, a mess of brown hair, tan skin, and a dirty smile, 'Blaine?' but they had just met, not even a few hours ago. 'What-What's going on?' the words brought to attention how dry his throat felt. How long had he been asleep? Where was he?  
  
Blaine's hand comes up, gentle, smoothing over his hair, then down his face, it stays at his cheek. Why is Blaine so cold? He flinches when Blaine's thumb rubs under his eye. 'You're safe, Kurt. It's okay.' Blaine's voice sounds so different now, excited even. Kurt can see the light of amusement in his eyes. Something is very wrong here.  
  
He tries to shift his body away, duly noting that he is naked with Blaine's very nude body is pinned on top of him. 'No,' he pulls down on the handcuffs, 'Not this, Blaine, don't do this.' Oh god, where the hell was he? Why wasn't anyone here to help him? He can't move, chained to this bed, and Blaine doesn't even care. Blaine is getting off on his terror, planned to take him, probably has much worse in store for Kurt.  
  
'You want this,' Blaine smirks, his hips thrusting down, their cocks sliding together. 'So hard for me, such a good boy Kurt.' Blaine leans down then, bypasses Kurt's face and starts to lick and suck at his neck and shoulders instead.  
  
No, no, he doesn't want this. He knows that bodies react to pleasure, it doesn't matter where it came from. Oh god, and he can feel tears sliding down his face, when did he start crying? The hand on his face suddenly slides down to his lips. 'Open up Kurt,' Blaine says and twists his nipple with his free hand.  
  
'Fu-' he gets cut off by the three very persistent fingers in his mouth.  
  
'Bite them and you'll regret it,' Blaine warns as he lifts himself up, staring, almost entranced, at the fingers pushing in and out of Kurt's mouth. Kurt can feel Blaine's cock harden further, twitching and still rubbing up against Kurt's. 'Get them nice and wet,' Blaine whispers.   
  
Kurt feels his body tighten, his stomach is starting to ache and there is no stopping this. There will be no rescue, no cops banging down the doors, and god, if his father saw him like this, if anyone did, he would never be able to look at them, but still, he'd take it over this. Blaine is going to rape him, he's seen Blaine's face and he knows how these stories end. Oh god, oh god. He barely notices when Blaine's fingers leave his mouth. Isn't fully aware of anything until he legs are up, pushed apart and a finger is pressing at his ass. It isn't even a tease, the finger shoves in and Kurt screams. He isn't sure if it's that bad, but his body can't relax like this, his mind is in overdrive.  
  
'Now,' Blaine directs his attention back to him, 'you be good, no kicking,' he stares at Kurt's long legs, 'and I'll make sure you feel just as good as I do.'  
  
'If I don't?' Kurt's words slip, unbidden from his mouth. 'What else could you possibly do?'  
  
Blaine's finger suddenly slips out, Kurt almost sighs in relief, but it can't be that easy. Suddenly three fingers are there, and all at once they thrust inside. Kurt howls at the intrusion, trying to get his body away, struggling so much against the cuffs but he can't feel that pain, can only feel the agony of those fingers fucking their way into him. 'Kurt,' Blaine is still smiling, how can he be smiling? What is wrong with him? The three fingers move out, replacing themselves with two now, slowly gliding in and out. 'Promise me when I say that you don't want to find out.' The fingers go deeper, Kurt knows anatomy and when he feels them curl upwards slightly he yelps. Hating his body because it feels good and nothing should feel like that at a time like this.  
  
'I think you should apologize,' Blaine hits his prostate again, harder this time, 'and' his grin never fading, his other hand starting to stroke Kurt's cock, 'tell me to fuck you. I want you to beg for it.'  
  
Kurt can't believe what he's hearing. He doesn't care that his body is reacting to Blaine, he can't ask for that, he can't apologize. There is nothing he's done wrong besides put trust in a man that he shouldn't have. Even if his hips are moving with Blaine's hand and fingers, he knows logically that he can't control that, he doesn't want this. He's still crying, how can Blaine ever think that he's going to do anything that he says? Blaine adds another finger, still looking at Kurt so expectantly, still smirking. Kurt is sure he's never hated someone so much.  
  
'Not going to talk, pet?' Blaine asks, he seems so proud of himself, as if he knows that Kurt is going to give in. "That's okay, I can do this for hours. Keep you full and hard but not letting you come. It would be a treat.' There is no part of that sentence that Kurt thinks is a lie. 'I've got so many toys, could try them all on you.' He curses, loudly, as his cock starts rocking against Kurt's again. 'You would be so loose by the time I fuck you, and you will beg for it, pet. Do you want to see the drawer I keep them in? All shapes, all sizes, all kinds of fun attachments. Start you with the small ones and work our way up to where if I wanted, could put my whole fist inside you.' He is serious. Kurt is either going to have a pro-longed rape, and eventually beg for it, or plead for it now. He is trapped here, in Blaine's home, and he knows that this is only the opening act for a very long show.   
  
The pillow under him is soaked, he can feel it on the back of his neck, he hasn't stopped crying since he started and he can feel his chest heave with how fast his heart is beating. He is going to have to do this, his body will deal with it, his mind will heal eventually. 'I'm sorry,' he whispers, head turned to the pillow, he can't look at Blaine and say this. 'I'm so sorry,' voice gaining momentum. He knows this next part is going to be the worst.  
  
Blaine takes a hand off his cock, cups his cheek and forces Kurt's gaze to his. 'And?' he sounds delighted. Then again, why wouldn't he? The fingers in his ass pull out, 'come on, pet,' he prompts.  
  
'Please,' don't make me say this, don't do this, 'fuck me.' Blaine reaches over, beyond where Kurt can see, and comes back with a bottle, he knows what that is.   
  
'Doesn't really sound like pleading to me,' Blaine goes forward again, and this time, that thing in his hand, it's huge, it'd tear him up. 'Maybe you do want to play after all,' He laughs, like all of this is a joke.  
  
'No!' Kurt screams, his pride beyond broken now. He can't have that thing in him. He can't even imagine what else Blaine could have, there could be bigger, or made to hurt, and he can't deal with that. 'Please Blaine, I want you. Your cock inside of me. Please, I don't want the toys. Just you, only you.' Blaine's eyes look as if they're turning black, but Kurt focuses on the fact that he tosses that thing away from them. He watches as Blaine opens up the lube, hissing when he starts to coat himself with it.  
  
'Say it again,' he pulls Kurt's useless legs up to his chest so his knees are pressing against his stomach. Blaine's cock is at his entrance now, waiting.  
  
'Please fuck me Blaine,' his sobs are wrecking his body, 'n-need you to fuck me. Only you, just you.' He screams when Blaine finally thrusts inside, a long and painful push that doesn't end until their hips touch and Kurt has never felt so unclean. He feels disgusted with himself, this is never going to go away. His whole body feels numb except where they are connected, and when Blaine's cock hits his prostate he comes messily between both of their stomachs. _  
  
The memory is a little hazy after that. He remembers how sore his body was afterwards, how bruised it was the day after, and how horrifyingly nice Blaine had been. He remembers finding a bottle of Viagra, empty a month or so later. It didn't matter though, his body was already trained to Blaine's touch. Blaine didn't need to drug his body, his blood sung Blaine's praises and his body always welcomed him.  
  
'Pet?' Blaine, drowsy and half on top of him stirs. Kurt thinks the blood from his wrists have finally stopped, he only starts to think about that night when he gets light headed. Otherwise, he pushes it far, far, away from his mind, it hurts too much. What he said, if only he'd known then that it really didn't matter.   
  
Blaine raises up enough to kiss Kurt on the lips, he's so complacent, practically purring. It doesn't last, his hand is coming up to the cuffs, and Kurt feels the frown before Blaine backs away. He looks at Kurt's wrists like he doesn't understand, 'Kurt,' he grabs the key from the bedside table that's on his side, unlocks the cuffs and tosses them aside. 'When did this happen?' he sounds frazzled, fingers prodding at the dried up blood.  
  
'These things aren't stretchable, Blaine,' Kurt replies, not looking at him. He isn't even angry, he would rather the blood than Blaine lying to him all the time, playing his body like a fine tuned guitar.  
  
'Mmm,' Blaine's fingers are still there, the fingernails scratching off some specs of dark red. Kurt feels him get off the bed, watches him walk into the bathroom. He still feels sticky elsewhere too. He really needs to shower.  
  
The faucet turns on, turns off, and Blaine comes out, wet towel in one hand, and some sort of rolled bandages. He sits next to Kurt and starts to work on cleaning up the blood. Kurt lets him, turns his face away, he doesn't want to know what this is doing to Blaine. It doesn't matter if it makes him feel bad, he couldn't let Kurt go now, and Kurt doubts he is capable of feeling awful. He probably is proud of himself, or worse, getting off on this, Kurt knows all too well how much Blaine likes to devour him when he's ailing.   
  
When the bed weight shifts again, Blaine is climbing over him and Kurt can feel the bandages. He cringes at the weight of Blaine, not that the boy is heavy, but it reminds him too much of how helpless his situation is. How hopeless he is. Blaine is shifting Kurt's body, getting his legs up, and the towel is wet at his ass. Wiping off the dried up come there. 'Thank you,' Kurt says when Blaine moves away, goes to his side of the bed and the towel gets dropped to the floor.   
  
Blaine rests on his side, is starring right at Kurt with an unreadable expression. 'Come here,' he says, stretching to lie on his back again. Kurt shuffles over, it doesn't matter that Blaine is being nice now. He can turn back into the Blaine that cages him, blinds him, locks him up tight, smacks him, in an instant. 'I think,' Blaine wraps one arm around Kurt, the other picking up a book, 'we'll stay here today, let you rest.' Usually that means at the foot of Blaine's bed, chained by an ankle, arm, by the collar around his neck. Sometimes though, Blaine is in Boyfriend mode, and he likes to cuddle and read with Kurt next to him. No matter what though, it always ends with Kurt sucking Blaine.   
  
Blaine is reading the scary book again. Kurt recognizes it by the cover, dark purple tinted hands. Blaine's read aloud from it before, and the characters in that book make Blaine look like a saint. He doesn't look at it, hopes Blaine won't feel like reading it to him, he doesn't want to picture the things that happen in that book ever again. Instead he stares at the window, and lets his mind try to focus on something else.  
  
At least, he figures, this is better than the cage. Being locked alone in the complete darkness messes with his mind just as much as Blaine does. Once, he even forgot his fathers name and by the time Blaine came to let him out he was hyperventilating and choking on the air he was breathing. He had collapsed when Blaine had dragged him out of it. Needed Blaine to give him some sort of comfort, clung to him, all the while Blaine singing in his ear, whispering to him all of those awful little lies.  
  
The fingers in his hair almost makes him flinch, Blaine does this, rubs behind his ears, like Kurt is his dog. He's even rubbed his belly, but that didn't last because really, all he was doing was sliding his come over Kurt. As if his claim on Kurt's body isn't seen everywhere.   
  
To escape, he would need to fool Blaine. Need Blaine to think that he had finally broken Kurt and could trust him to be left alone, not caged, not cuffed, just as he is. He's tried it before, but Blaine always seems to sense his unease and then he's in for punishment because lying to Blaine is bad, and probably just because Blaine likes to hurt Kurt. He can swear he doesn't, tell Kurt that he's safe here, but they both know that he's lying.  
  
His wrists feel sore, they've bled before but never so much, he wonders just how deep the cuffs cut into him this time. He settles one arm over Blaine's stomach, needing to stretch them both out, but he'll settle for one. Keeps the other clutched between Blaine's side and his own chest. Like this, well, without the bandages and bruises, any outsider would just think they're in a relationship. Passing by the window, (unlikely due to the fact that they live in the middle of nowhere) and if they recognized Kurt, (barely recognizes himself) they may just think he ran away with a boyfriend.   
  
He does wonder what his family and friends did after his disappearance. Blaine doesn't let him watch any news programs, so he thinks they must have done something. Maybe even had one of those press conferences where the family pleads to the kidnappers to bring Kurt home safe. Does his dad think he's dead? Have his friends forgotten him by now? Just some memory of a boy that they never saw again? Did Blaine watch the news coverage and laugh because in his mind, he takes care of Kurt so much better than anyone else has.   
  
Blaine's hand in his hair falls away, Kurt can see that he's put the book down. Blaine shifts so he's on his side, starring at Kurt again. Or, Kurt thinks, his lips. He knows where this is going. The distance between them gets smaller, and Blaine is smiling again by the time their mouths touch.  
  
They don't kiss much. Well, not like this. Blaine likes to kiss Kurt's hair, or forehead. Has given him multiple hickeys all over his body, but he doesn't kiss Kurt, when he does, it's usually with a laugh, or with a dirty whisper. This isn't like that, Blaine's sucking on his bottom lip, teeth skimming it and moaning softly. He brings a hand to cup Kurt's jaw, the other finds Kurt's and entangles their fingers together. He's pressing, letting go of the lip to slip his tongue in Kurt's mouth, a mock of what he does to his body, what he will end up doing to Kurt's body. And just like that, Kurt lets him. Gives him what he asks for, asking for nothing in return. Blaine is all of his firsts, will be his only, and his lasts. Kurt can't imagine being able to do something as simple as this with anyone else without thinking of Blaine. Even if he escapes, Blaine is the poison in his blood, the itch under his skin. He'll never be able to be touched without the memory of Blaine's hands on him. Won't be able to be in the dark, remembering the cage, the restraints, and how much he had to look forward to Blaine letting him out. It won't matter if Blaine dies, or gets locked away forever, the memory of him is enough to put fear into Kurt.   
  
Blaine is still kissing him, lazy, and slow. Kurt can feel the tension in his body melt away, it is so easy to give in to him. Much harder to try, so much worse when he battling with his mind and body. Moments like this is when Kurt wonders if it's even worth the fight for his sanity. Ignorance is bliss so they say, and his mind already lapses into that space so easily nowadays. Is it even worth escaping if his life is one without any sort of touch? Maybe he doesn't need to act broken, he's already pretty shattered as is.  
  
Blaine's kisses turn sweet. Chaste presses, and playful swipes of tongue, Kurt can feel his grin. Knows his own mouth mirrors it because if Blaine is happy, it's best to play along. Even their legs are tangled together, not holding any one position but constantly sliding against the other. Kurt knows that however 'nice' this is, it's not real, but if it could be...  
  
Kisses start raining down on his jaw, light ones, quick licks of tongue down his throat. It's such a startling contrast to the usual ones that leave him with dark purple bruises. These kisses feel almost apologetic, dare he think it, worshipful, and there is just so many. His entire collarbone area is bathed in them, and Blaine is still moving. He presses his lips to each nipple and then is going down Kurt's stomach. One hand still clutching Kurt's, the other sliding along after his mouth, the touch is so light, so unlike anything Kurt is used to from Blaine.   
  
When he gets to his hips, Blaine mouths at the sharp bones. They stick out rather pointedly, just like his ribs. Blaine lavishes attention on them. Teeth careful when they touch and always soothed with his tongue. Kurt's head is swimming, he doesn't understand what Blaine is doing down there, he has never been like this.  
  
That hand of his starts to sort through the pubic hair above his cock, pulling playfully on some of them and making Kurt whimper at the sensation. When Blaine's tongue trails down that path, all the blood starts to rush downward, and at the first touch of Blaine's lips on his cock, he begins to get hard.   
  
It's always been Blaine's hand there, his mouth feels like a whole new experience. Even though Kurt has done this, and can do it to Blaine like a pro, he's never imagined Blaine doing this to him. Yet, here he is. Blaine's tongue slides down his length , prods at the slit on the head and even mouths at his balls. He's not saying anything, not whispering about how dirty Kurt is for enjoying this, for how thankful he should be and this feels so strange without that. His cock is fully hard by the time Blaine takes him in his mouth, he doesn't even pause once, just keeps swallowing around Kurt's cock until his mouth is at the base and Kurt feels his mind start to melt.   
  
This feels good. So good, so wet and god, looking down at Blaine, he looks like he's hungry for it. His eyes are open, staring at Kurt as he slowly moves back and forth over his cock. His hand in Kurt's grips a little more tightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to bring attention to it. Kurt can't think like this, so absorbed in the pleasure from Blaine's mouth. He can't stop starring at Blaine's eyes, or the way his cock is in Blaine's mouth. Almost forgot about Blaine's other hand until he feels it, wet (and how did that happen?) and teasing over his entrance, not pushing in just pressing along the rim, his body doesn't go into panic mode, not tightening at the touch. Instead it's relenting, his hips moving back along the finger, wanting, waiting.   
  
He doesn't have to wait for long, but the press in is slow. Just the fingertip swirling along the inside. Blaine's mouth is starting to pull off his cock and Kurt moans when the cool air surrounds it. 'It's okay, pet,' Blaine sounds hoarse, but he's whispering, 'gonna make you feel so good,' and his finger pulls out. 'Need you to help for a bit okay?' and Kurt is nodding before he's even finished speaking. Their entangled hands detach, Blaine grabs a pillow from above, sets it under Kurt's hips and brings his legs up so they hook behind his shoulders. It brings Blaine's mouth very close to Kurt's ass, and Kurt can't stop the small thrill that runs up his body.   
  
The first touch of Blaine's tongue to his hole makes him whimper. High pitched, and if he thought that Blaine's mouth on his cock was good, this is like heaven. It's circling around it, then up his crack and back down again. Licking quickly at it, and Kurt is pretty sure there is no better feeling. He can feel how close he is to coming, his entire body is thrumming with it. When Blaine's tongue dips inside though, that is even better, it's unlike the fingers, even if it can't go as far, and Kurt can feel Blaine's hands on his ass, pulling the cheeks so he can go deeper inside him. This is better than any toy for sure, and god, he's not going to last like this. His hands are clinging to the blankets below him, wanting to touch his cock, but he doesn't have permission for that. He has a feeling it really doesn't matter anyway.   
  
A finger slips down to join his tongue, and Kurt can feel a thumb at his rim, holding him open. If he had any shame left, he'd probably be beat red now and too embarrassed to enjoy this. As it is, he just feels weightless. Only pleasure sparking up his spine and his blood is rushing too quickly. He's so close, letting out these high pitched moans that don't even sound like himself. 'Blaine,' he moans the name, purrs it as Blaine starts moving his tongue in and out of his hole like he's so used to his cock doing. The finger is reaching deeper, just slightly skimming over his prostate and Kurt can't hold on anymore, coming harder than he's ever felt, all over his stomach, and feeling completely claimed.  
  
Blaine pulls back, lets Kurt's legs down and slides up him, laps up at the come starting to dry on Kurt's stomach, cleaning him up. He gets to Kurt's mouth and leans down. Kurt opens his mouth to Blaine's tongue, tasting himself and moaning at that. Everything feels so good, he's sure that he's never felt so much pleasure, never come that hard. He lets Blaine's mouth ravish his, rag-doll like beneath him. 'So good, pet,' Blaine whispers, hands finding Kurt's and holding them. He feels the fingertips glide over the bandages, makes Blaine's body shiver above him. 'So good, so mine,' Blaine says, bringing a pair of their hands down between them where Blaine's cock is slowly rolling into Kurt's hip. 'Tell me, Kurt, tell me your mine,' his voice still light, breathless even, as their hands encircle his cock and stroke, not wasting time on being slow. Blaine is going to come probably ridiculously fast, but Kurt really can't care. His own body is moving with Blaine's again. Legs wrapped around Blaine's and helping him thrust harder.   
  
'Tell me, pet,' Blaine nips at Kurt's lower lip, a reminder of what could happen if Kurt doesn't obey.  
  
Kurt is still recovering from his own intense orgasm, still trying not to think, 'yours,' he says, just as out of breath as Blaine is. 'All yours,' the words leave a bad taste in his mouth, but he can't think on them, this is just another survival tactic. Another way to not get punished, no matter how claimed he feels... Oh,  _oh_ , he had thought that hadn't he?   
  
Blaine comes between them, alerting Kurt out of his thoughts, it's much safer in the surface, best not to think of those other things now. He is surprised when Blaine smears both of their hands on the comforter beneath, not using Kurt's tongue to clean up, and everything since his wrists has been so strange, so unorthodox, so not Blaine. He fears that Blaine may be up to something of his own. Blaine may even be winning .  
  
He finally pulls up from Kurt, their lips so swollen, and Blaine, always disturbingly beautiful, looks even more the part as he stares down at Kurt. He lays one last kiss on Kurt's cheek before getting off the bed and putting on his pajama bottoms. 'Lets go eat,' he stretches, and Kurt slowly lowers himself down to the ground. He can put pressure on his wrists without them hurting too much, and follows Blaine into the kitchen, stomach rumbling with a renewed appetite.

 

Kurt is half awake, sprawled over the sofa when he hears Blaine's voice from the study. He has an ankle chained to the coffee table, so he can't move but he knows the tone of that voice. It makes his body tighten, preparing for a war. Yet, Blaine is still in the study, door open, watching Kurt, (always watching Kurt), and on the phone.  
  
'Cooper,' he's irritated. Kurt vaguely remembers hearing that name before, a relative, one of the more persistent ones. 'You can't stay here, it's too small,' Kurt can see the tension in Blaine's shoulders, the frustration in his tone makes Kurt wince. Blaine is pacing back and forth in the small study, 'I saw you a week ago... Yes, it does count-'  
  
Kurt remembers that outing. Blaine only ever leaves for supplies and this monthly thing with Cooper. He hates the meet-ups with Cooper, they always run so long, and sometimes Blaine comes back smelling like alcohol and leaves Kurt tied up all night. He hopes that Blaine will find a way to detain this Cooper person. It probably will not end well for him if this man frustrates Blaine even further. Cooper could be like Blaine, for all Kurt knows. He could have been the one to help Blaine in the kidnapping, or has his own slew of slaves at home, caging them, fucking them till they fall unconscious. Kurt is sure that Blaine would never share him with anybody, his hands still cling to him as if Kurt is a butterfly and a winds-breath from flying away.   
  
'Fuck!' the phone being slammed to the computer desk gets Kurt's attention. He tries to get to his knees, but Blaine is already in front of him, eyes burning with fury. 'I'm sorry, Blaine, please-' he gets cut off by Blaine's mouth. The kiss is aggressive, Blaine climbing over Kurt's body to cover it with his own. Hands grip his hipbones, pressing into the bruises and it hurts so much, his whine gets mumbled thanks to Blaine's lips and tongue.  
  
He presses back, his own hands trying to pry Blaine's off his body and entangling them instead. His mouth is gentle against Blaine's, he needs to get him calm. This is not Kurt's fault he's in an awful mood, so he thinks that it may work.  
  
Blaine eases up a little, slows his kisses and holds onto Kurt's with a softer grip. When he pulls back, the anger is still set in his shoulders but his eyes look a little relieved. 'Thank you, pet,' he kisses Kurt again, just a peck on the lips, 'We have a problem.'   
  
Kurt is pretty sure he knows what it is, but he waits until Blaine continues, 'Coop's coming to stay the night this weekend, wouldn't let me talk him out of it, so we're going to be playing with some very different rules.' Kurt had figured out as much, nodding to get Blaine to continue. 'He doesn't know about you, obviously. I'd like to keep it that way,' and oh no, this sounds bad. His heart starts to pick up, hands go slack in Blaine's grip. 'It's just for two days, one night. I just need you to be very quiet, pet.'   
  
'Can't I meet him?' he doesn't want to be locked up, gagged in some room. 'I'd like to,' he adds, hopefully sounding sincere.   
  
Blaine's hands clench hard against Kurt's, 'and what would you tell him? Lie and beg him to call the police? Kurt, I'm not having anyone take you away from me. No, you will stay in my room. It'll be what I need after a night out with him,' he leans down, and Kurt feels so shaken that he can't even process what he's saying, 'But, I promise, if you are a good boy while he's here, I'll reward you.' He seals it with a kiss that Kurt barely notices. Their fingers unlatch and Blaine's getting off of him. 'I've got a few more calls to make so be good,' and Kurt stares at him walk back into the study, door still open, and always watching.  
  
 _The first time Blaine tells Kurt to drop to his knees and crawl on the floor, he laughs, thinking that Blaine can't be serious about this. Blaine does not laugh with him, instead he walks over to Kurt and stands behind him. 'I'd rather not force you,' he tells Kurt.  
  
'I walk fine,' he's already lost his clothes to this man, his body, nearly his mind, and Blaine just keeps taking things. Never satisfied, never happy with Kurt. Why does he need everything from Kurt?  
  
'Yes, you know, you're right,' and even though the tone is light, Kurt can feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, he doesn't believe Blaine for a second. The swift and painful kick to the backs of his knees should surprise him, but he's collapsing to the floor before he can even register the pain. He used to be so much stronger, but Blaine puts drugs in his food, the limited that he gets, and he's been pretty much cuffed to a bed for a month. Blaine doesn't even trust him alone in the bathroom with the door unlocked. It's a never ending cycle of take-take-take and Kurt wonders what will happen when he has nothing left.   
  
Blaine kneels down to his level, pats his hair like a dog and grins. 'Good boy,' he stands up, getting a good grip on Kurt's hair, 'now follow,' and Kurt is not given a choice, desperately crawling as Blaine leads him by the hair.  
_  
  
The sun is not something that ever wakes Kurt up. Blaine does, and today, the first day of Cooper's visit, is the same way. He is still tied up from last night, Blaine's been using rope, it's softer against his skin, and doesn't irritate the bandages that still cover Kurt's wrists. 'Do you need to use the bathroom?' is the first thing Blaine asks.   
  
Kurt shakes his head, having been earlier in the middle of the night after Blaine had fucked him. He takes a small sip from the water bottle Blaine holds for him and then waits. The water settles in his mouth, it tastes different, but Kurt can't figure out if it's the lingering taste of Blaine's cock that's making it like that, or if Blaine laced it.   
  
Blaine is meticulous with the rope, checking the knots on Kurt's wrists before moving down and starting to wrap a different set of ropes to his ankles. His body doesn't fight, doesn't do that anymore, it's so much easier to just let these things happen. At least, he thinks, it's not the cage, being cramped in there is a lot worse than being spread out on the bed.   
  
He is being stared at, Blaine looking at him like he's a four course meal. His hand moves up to Kurt's face, slides his finger into his mouth. 'So pretty, pet,' Blaine whispers, 'I wish we had time for more play,' he pulls the finger out and reaches for something on the side of the bed.  
  
It's a small piece of leather, small buckles attached, and Kurt realizes that Blaine doesn't trust him at all to keep quiet, he's pretty sure that's a muzzle. 'Would you like some more water before I put this on?' Kurt is nodding before Blaine is even finished asking, taking a few more sips, not wanting to take too much water. He does not want to hold his bladder while being stuck here. Blaine straps the muzzle in place, checking to make sure Kurt's nose isn't covered, and then he pulls out the blindfold and headphones.   
  
'I know you don't like these, pet.' Blaine kisses him over the muzzle, slips the headphones on first and Kurt is once again in silence. He can hear the rush of blood thumping through his body, looks at Blaine, pleading with him with his eyes, he can already feel the tears starting to slip down his face.   
  
The tears get the blindfold wet as it gets put over his eyes and tied to the side of his head. He can still feel Blaine's hands on his face, petting down his neck, trying to calm Kurt, but Kurt hates this. Blaine knows this, knows that this is the worst thing for him. His mind is starting to feel cloudy again, trying desperately to focus on anything but it's hard once Blaine's hands are off of him and it's just him now. Alone, so fucking alone, and he can't stop his body from quivering, not even cold, but the terror that this is for him. There is a pool of tears collecting behind his head and onto the pillow, soaking that part of his hair and it's only just begun.   
  
He tries to steady his breath, counting in his head but he can't get past 10 without wanting to go into a panic attack. His stomach is starting to feel nauseous, and he welcomes the vertigo that begins to swirl in his mind. At least if he passes out, he won't have to be here in this decaying mind, in this broken body.  
  
 _His hips roll down onto Blaine's. Hands holding onto Blaine's shoulders and using them to quicken the way his body lifts and sinks itself on Blaine's cock. Works his hips harder, leaning forward so Blaine's dick can hit his prostate and it feels so good. He grins at Blaine, spread out beneath him, finally his wrists chained up to the bed, and looking so powerless. His fingers come over Blaine's chest and twist his nipples making Blaine jerk up underneath him. 'Kurt,' he's so breathless, so close to coming, but Kurt reaches down and squeezes Blaine's cock at the base.  
  
'Me first,' he tells him, wanting to come with Blaine still hard in him. He starts stroking his own dick, quick and not nearly wet enough, but it's okay. Mostly he's getting off on staring at Blaine, taking in every inch of his helpless body, the way his wrists struggle in their bindings. The flash of skin scratching and ripping open, a small amount of blood staining the cuffs. He kisses Blaine as he comes, thrusting his tongue into his mouth and jolting from the aftershocks.   
  
It's not enough, his body is still waiting, needing more, 'Blaine,' he reaches up and unlocks the cuffs. 'Need you, fuck me. Please baby,' he lets Blaine push him down, reversing their positions but never separating.   
  
'Don't worry, pet. I've got you.' Blaine thrusts down, hands grabbing at Kurt's bruised wrists. The pain just sends his body pleasure, sparks of it going straight to his cock that's half hard again already.   
  
'Blaine, please,' he cries, mind lost in this bubble of pain and pleasure, 'need more, need you. Want you to fuck me harder, please.' Kurt nearly screams when Blaine pulls out of him, but his hands are on Kurt.  
  
'Hands and knees, pet,' he commands. He doesn't thrust into Kurt right away though, gripping for something around the blankets. 'Gonna love this,' he tells him, kissing at Kurt's lower back. No sooner does Kurt hear a swish sound and then the crack of leather against his ass.   
  
It should make him limp, should make him scream out no, but it doesn't. He feels like his brain's got rewired and it feels perfect. Better when Blaine's cock is inside him once more and the hits just start to rain down on him. All different speeds, varying places, and it's enough to get his cock fully hard again. He doesn't question it, just lets himself bask in the pleasure, forcing himself back against Blaine and balancing on one arm to get to his aching cock.  
  
'So good, pet,' Blaine whispers, barely heard over the way their bodies are slapping together and the sound of the paddle against Kurt's ass. Blaine's hand slaps Kurt's away from his cock, he drops the paddle too, 'Want you to come just from me now,' he bites into the skin at the middle of Kurt's back. Licks at the sweat that's starting to collect there. His hand moves to Kurt's rim where his cock is still thrusting, rubs at the skin with his fingers, 'come pet,' he orders and Kurt lets out a scream as he lets go. Coming onto the sheets below him and onto his stomach, feeling like it's never ending when Blaine follows him. Barely pulls out before they both fall down to the bed, completely exhausted.   
  
Blaine rolls to his side, and Kurt clings onto him. Finding Blaine's mouth and kissing him, 'yours,' he promises. Smiles into Blaine's skin when the echo of 'mine,' finds it's way to his ears.  
_  
  
Kurt wakes up with a start. Still blind, still deaf, still dark. His mind skimming through the dream because that has never happened. Even in his blank states he would have remembered something like that. It didn't feel familiar, at least, not the wanting, the touches are always there, but not the intimacy. Not the feeling of consent that practically drummed through the dream. What is going on with his mind? Has he completely lost it to Blaine? He had called Blaine, 'baby,' got off on being spanked, being used like a sex slave, pushed to his limits, and oh god, the ending, kissing Blaine with affection, promising Blaine himself and hearing Blaine's always reply of 'mine.'   
  
He must be going crazy, going to end up more fucked up than Blaine at this rate. Never fit for society after this.   
  
What if Blaine could tell? Maybe he recognized something inside of Kurt, and so now he's done society a favor by taking Kurt away. There had to be a reason it was always Kurt, Blaine has been very adamant that he's never had anyone else. Just Kurt, he told him once that he'd been looking forever for him.   
  
His train of thought gets knocked sideways when he suddenly smells alcohol. Can feel breath on his face, and the headphones are taken off his ears. The muzzle gets unbuckled and forgotten. 'Kurt, Kurt, Kurt,' Blaine whispers, repeating his name like a mantra as he removes the blindfold. It's still dark in the room, no lights but the moon flicking in between the shades, Blaine's clothes are half hazardously being pulled off, 'want you so bad,' he starts kissing at Kurt's neck, messy open mouthed kisses that leave him feeling wet and slobbery. His hips are grinding into Kurt's, jeans still on, but not seeming to care. 'Need to be quiet, Coop's passed out on the couch,' and Blaine giggles. Moving up and gently nibbling at Kurt's jaw, sliding up to his lips. His hands find Kurt's, undeterred by the rope and tangling them together anyway.  
  
'Blaine,' Kurt needs to be freed, he doesn't want to lay like this all night, 'can't you undo the ropes? Please. I've been so good,' and he has, didn't make a peep all day. Not like he could tell if he did, but since Blaine didn't storm in the room, he's guessing that he's done a good job at keeping quiet.  
  
Blaine sits up, eyes the knots on Kurt's skin, 'I don't,' he pauses, looking upset, 'I don't think I can untie you drunk. Knots are complicated.'  
  
'Scissors!' Kurt pleads, voice a little bit louder and earning a hand over his mouth from Blaine. 'Please, if you love me-'  
  
'You know I do,' Blaine swears, interrupting.  
  
'Then please cut these off,' Kurt is desperate now, can feel the toll his body has taken on from the day now that he is aware again. His shoulders ache, and that left one more sore than ever. His legs are strained, and he really could use the bathroom now.   
  
'Okay,' Blaine gets up, a little shaky, but at least he doesn't fall. 'I'll go get the kitchen shears,' he says and disappears out the door frame. Kurt listens for any sound that might wake up Cooper but Blaine is quiet, he can see the kitchen light turn on, then off, and hear Blaine trudge back through the living room.  
  
He closes the door to his bedroom behind him and sits next to Kurt, scissors in his hands. 'Blaine?' Kurt thought he was all for the plan, but now he looks sad, contemplative.  
  
'I'm pretty drunk,' he tells Kurt, still in a whisper, 'and you could kill me with these if I set you free like this.' He sounds absolutely heartbroken, 'because,' he works out, 'you, you don't understand Kurt,' the scissors get put on the bedside table, and Kurt doesn't know what to do. Blaine looks like he's about to cry, 'I saved you. I used to watch you, you know? A whole year of awful things that happened to you. I kept waiting for your so called friends to help but they didn't even care. You cared about them. I care about you. I love you. I've been in love with you for so long and you, you just don't get it.'   
  
Kurt eyes the scissors briefly, it honestly didn't even enter his mind to kill Blaine with them. He doesn't think, even after all that Blaine has done to him, that he could do it. Actually kill him, he thinks his memories are bad now, but a lifeless face staring at him would make the rest seem like rainbows. He wonders if he could just say it, lie to Blaine and tell him that he's wrong, that he loves Blaine and wants to be with him. That dream brought up some emotions that he could just pretend in, for a night, be with Blaine the way that Blaine wants him.  
  
Yet, he doesn't think, even at his best, even if it were true, that Blaine could believe him now. Blaine isn't even there anymore, he's moved off the side of the bed to where he usually sleeps, turned away from Kurt and it's the first time he's ever done that. Even times before when he's been drunk, (maybe only tipsy) he's always found some way to mold their bodies together.   
  
Blaine is right about some things, Kurt doesn't understand this. 

 

Kurt simply cannot sleep anymore. His stomach aches for food, his throat is dry and scratchy from thirst, and the need to use the toilet is starting to creep on him. That's not even mentioning how much he can't stop thinking about Blaine's outburst. He had been watching Kurt for a whole year, stalked him day to day, did he keep a journal? Have a shrine somewhere? He didn't understand. Why couldn't Blaine have just introduced himself like a sane person? They could have been friends, he can't seem to focus on that year, it had been bad... yet, it slips from him. Almost feels like a dream and the harder he tries to remember the more he forgets.   
  
He believes Blaine now, at least, he believes that Blaine thinks he's in love with Kurt. In his own perverse way he knows that Blaine thinks they're in the perfect solution, thinks that this is what is best for Kurt so he doesn't get hurt. Blaine's wrong though, he's simply traded perpetrators, his own mind feels like it's working against him most days, rearranging itself to mold it into what Blaine wants. His body is weak and bruised, muscles are getting stronger in all the wrong places, and the wear on his knees gets rougher each day.  
  
There is no logical way to explain this to Blaine. He's sure that only years of intense therapy could make Blaine see the truth of what he's doing. Cooper... He doesn't know him from anyone else, he could be just as bad as Blaine. There is no way to get help from him, the second Kurt got too loud Blaine would hear him, and it's just not worth the risk. Blaine's brain seems precariously balanced tonight and he doesn't want to think of what worse things Blaine could do to him in this altered state.  
  
So, what else is there to do? Is there anything he can do? Is he destined to live out the rest of his life like this until Blaine goes over the edge and kills them both? He hates that a small part of his mind is slowly coming to terms with just that. Doesn't think that Blaine would actually kill him, but if Kurt was good....  
  
A hand, Blaine's hand, breaks his thoughts by brushing up against his stomach. Palm down, fingers spread, like he has to touch all at once. It hasn't occurred to Kurt that Blaine could still be awake, he can only see his stomach and legs since his outstretched arm hides the rest of his view. 'Blaine?' he whispers into the dark. It could be that Blaine is just dreaming, unused to not having Kurt nearby. 'I,' he is pretty sure Blaine's asleep, and the need to speak aloud and not in his mind is strong. 'I didn't think about killing you. Not with the shears, not with anything. I couldn't do that to you.' He's not entirely sure why he feels the need to confess, but the words trip out of his mouth so quickly, 'I'm sorry I've disappointed you, but I've only ever tried to be myself.' Kurt isn't even sure who he is nowadays. He doesn't feel like much of anything.   
  
The hand hasn't moved, Blaine must be asleep. Kurt isn't sure if he's relieved or not, surely it's better that Blaine didn't hear him. He shouldn't know how much power he has over Kurt. Over Kurt's rapidly detaching mind. If he had been awake, he would have said something, and Kurt looks over at his legs, still turned away from him. So his hand must have just reached out and nothing more.  
  
Time doesn't drag on when you have nothing to measure it by. It simply ceases to exist. He could count himself mad by counting out the seconds but he'd rather not think at all. Clear his mind from all of this, there is no thoughts, no bed, no pain, no body here. No Kurt. He just focuses on the hand, the warmth, and nothing else.  
  
He drifts, never falling asleep, never fully aware of his own self. It was weird the first time he had done this, had never truly believed in the whole 'outer body experience' but this is. There is no touch outside of Blaine's hand, no thought, only sight, and the two of them look so lonely on the bed. It looks wrong, like pulled apart puzzle pieces, just keep waiting to reconnect.  
  
Only when the hand moves does he pull himself back in. Wincing at the fresh pain, noticing that there is still no sun, just moonlight shining through the blinds. The fingers slide over his skin, and he can hear Blaine shuffle, he's awake.  
  
Blaine comes into view, his hair is a mess, probably from running his hands through it while he was asleep. He has dark circles around his eyes, as if he didn't sleep at all. A firm frown on his lips as he stares at Kurt. He still smells like a bar, but now it's mixed with the Blaine Scent that Kurt has come to know so well. So much easier to take in this way, 'If I was a slightly better person,' he startles Kurt with the soft sound of his voice, 'I would tell Cooper all about you, and have him take you far away from me,' he sounds pained. 'But I'm not, Kurt. I'm completely selfish, and if you left there is nothing I wouldn't do to bring us back together, one way or another.' It's a vow, Kurt swallows down the lump in his throat, uneasy with how morbidly romantic that sounded. 'We are more alike than you think Kurt,' he starts, 'only, I didn't have anyone when I got tortured. My parents didn't even care that I ended up in a hospital. They didn't even visit. Probably wished the bullies had killed me.' He's stroking Kurt's stomach, like he's trying to calm himself, 'no one's ever needed me,' and Kurt can feel tears in his eyelashes, dripping around his face. 'You need me though, don't you?'  
  
Kurt's nodding, 'of course Blaine,' he answers. It's not a lie, even if Blaine himself was the one to deny him things, it doesn't really feel like that anymore. He can't even think outside of this moment, feels ashamed at himself for thinking of Blaine like a monster. The boy is just lonely, and wasn't Kurt before? Why has he fought this so much? Isn't it exactly what he wanted? he's always been so alone... It was true what Blaine said about his friends, when it came down to it, they really hadn't cared. 'Blaine?' his voice cracks, so dry, and it doesn't help that he hasn't stopped crying, he can't tell if it's for Blaine, himself, or both of them. He's so tired of trying to figure it out, 'Untie me, please. I just want to hug you.' He'll take this moment of quiet and stillness. A part of him knowing that it's not going to last.   
  
It can't. This is not a part of the roles that they've been playing. The characters can't change now so completely. Blaine will forever be the man who raped him, body and soul. Kurt will always be seen by Blaine as his distressed boy, one that he saved from the horrors of the world. One that owes him with everything he has.  
  
Blaine moves down to the ropes at his feet. Must be clearer headed since he has no issues with the knots now. The ones wrapped around Kurt's wrist come free near seconds later. Kurt pulls him down immediately, wrapping his arms around Blaine and holding him close.   
  
It's so bizarre to lay like this, Kurt is not used to having to give Blaine affection, not outside of sex. It's always been Blaine caring for Kurt and he's just not sure what to do. He's wide awake, knows that Blaine is not going to be asleep and Blaine's brother is just outside the door. If this had happened a year ago, he knows that he would have taken those shears and tried to make a run for it. Even a month ago, a week, a few days. Yet, he can't make a grab for them, trying to tell himself that it is worthless to try. Blaine has always had a plan, there is no escape from this. A part of him, the part that preens every time Blaine calls him, 'good boy,' knows that he deserves this, the good, and the very bad.   
  
'You're thinking too loud,' Blaine says above him, looking at Kurt with a smile. 'That's my job, pet,' he leans down, bringing their faces close to touch, 'shall I distract you?' Kurt's stomach rumbles beneath, breaking the slight tension. 'How about we shower? Then breakfast?'  
  
'What about Cooper?' Kurt can't imagine meeting Blaine's brother only wearing a dog collar.  
  
'We'll just have to dress you up all pretty, pet. It'll be like unwrapping a present later,' Blaine replies, smiling and finally kissing Kurt with small pecks.  
  
They untangle from each other, Blaine leads Kurt to the bathroom with hands on his hips and it's so domestic that it actually makes Kurt's heart ache. He had always wanted a boyfriend, someone special to make him feel loved, a master is going to have to do, there is no one else for him now. Kurt quickly uses the toilet once Blaine jumps in the shower and then follows him in. Shuts the glass door behind him and starts to get to his knees.  
  
'Not today, Kurt,' Blaine pulls them both under the hot water, hands in Kurt's hair to duck him down in another kiss. Kurt brings his hands to Blaine's hips, responding to the kiss with just as much force as Blaine. Every little moment is teetering, one stray thought, one wrong breath and it could cause all the bricks to tumble down. He doesn't want to lose this so quickly, he deserves one day with his boyfriend.   
  
Kurt is careful when they step back, Blaine grabs the shampoo and squeezes a dollop into each of their hands. His go to Blaine's hair, Blaine's goes to his. They've never done this, Blaine always washes himself, then, when the water isn't half as warm, will half heartily wash down Kurt while his knees ache and his throat is still struggling to swallow the last bits of come in his mouth.   
  
They rinse away the shampoo, repeating the same process with conditioner and hands leading soap around each other's bodies. When they're clean Blaine pushes Kurt to the tiles and kneels before him.  
  
He's already half hard, so receptive to Blaine, always has been, and with all the rubbing, it'd be impossible not to. Blaine has a bottle of lube with him, (Kurt is pretty sure he stashes them everywhere in the apartment) and at the first touch of his mouth on Kurt's cock, two fingers circle his rim.   
  
Kurt can feel how shaky his legs get. Weak already from their rare usage and now this. Blaine has him fully hard, bobbing his head so Kurt's dick hits the back of his throat. The fingers circle once more before pushing in. The touch makes Kurt scream, back of his head hitting the tiles because it feels so good. These fingers aren't rough and thrusting, they're slow, so fucking slow and curling up to tease his prostate. Blaine's head moves off of him, 'turn over,' he tells Kurt. Helps him, easing the fingers out and letting Kurt turn freely. The moment Kurt's chest touches the tiles he presses the fingers back in, this time joined with his tongue. Kurt can't stop the sounds coming from his mouth, so loud, so high, he can't even tell what he's saying. This undoes him, rips him apart and bares his soul. Can only whimper when another finger gets added, tries to hold himself up and steady.   
  
He feels like he's slipped into a dream, head foggy and limbs weak. Pushing back into the way Blaine is finger and tongue fucking him. His body doesn't even feel like his own, his words don't sound like himself the odd time he can actually hear them, 'please,' he's begging, 'please Blaine, fuck me. Need your cock. Need you, please.'   
  
Blaine slides his fingers out, starts kissing up to his lower back and then up Kurt's spine until he's covering him. His tongue slips under the leather of the collar, lapping at the skin there. Kurt turns his head to the side, 'Blaine,' he whines, hips impatiently rocking backward.   
  
'I've got you,' Blaine whispers low in his ear. A hand guides his cock into Kurt as slow as the fingers had been. It feels impossibly fuller this way, not one fast thrust but a build up of movement. Kurt scrambles to find anything to hold on to, reaches back to grab at Blaine's shoulder. Both of Blaine's hands wrap around Kurt's waist, using everything to hold Kurt up, and they kiss as soon as Blaine starts to thrust into Kurt.  
  
It's so much unlike the dream, there is a progression here, affection, and so intimate. The kiss they share, Kurt can taste tears mixing in with the steam of the shower, sucking it from each others lips. He can't focus his thoughts, just existing with Blaine. Blaine's hips rocking against his, cock just barely hitting his prostate and hands holding onto Kurt for dear life. It's all Kurt can feel, every other part on his body is not as important, just for decoration, the black and white photographs compared to the technicolor tv program when Blaine touches him.  
  
Their hips start rolling just a bit faster, picking up speed as their moans get louder and their lips detach. Now just barely grazing, breathing into each others mouths as they try to catch their breath. Kurt's own orgasm catches him off guard, untouched, but spilling over the tile, tightens his whole body, especially where Blaine is still thrusting inside of him. He definitely feels Blaine come, the way he nips at Kurt's bottom lip as he thrusts though it. How his semen leaks out of Kurt's hole when he pulls out to flip Kurt around once more. There isn't any words, just tongues touching again and hands clenching over skin. Blaine's back at his sensitive hole, finger thrusting into him and making Kurt groan into the kiss. He almost wonders if Blaine is just going to fuck him again until he finally pulls the hand free again, uses it to direct the water over them and rinsing away the proof of their activity.   
  
Blaine brings Kurt out of the shower, dries him off with a fluffy towel with lingering touches to his ass and kisses to his neck. Kurt watches him do the same for himself, dropping the towels to the floor a moment later. He grabs onto Kurt's hand and leads them back into the bedroom.   
  
Kurt sits on the bed, Blaine stands between his legs, his hand is on the collar. Finger slipping around it, 'I don't want to take this off you,' he tells Kurt. 'Like that it's there, a reminder that you're mine,' he is fumbling with the buckle.   
  
'I can't meet your brother like this,' reminds Kurt. He can't go through that humiliation, already wondering how he's supposed to act in front of someone who isn't Blaine. He hasn't had to in so long, he feels out of practice.   
  
The collar unbuckles, Kurt letting out a long breath because it feels like new, fresher, oxygen coming into his lungs. Blaine's hands trace around where the collar stood, eyes locked on that area too. 'Tell me you're mine,' he whispers, dragging his gaze away from Kurt's neck to his eyes.  
  
'Yours, forever yours,' Kurt states, eyes never leaving Blaine's. 'You're it for me. The only one.' He falls over at the crash of Blaine on him. Kissing him like he's about to die and holding onto Kurt's hands, bringing them to the side.   
  
'Say it again,' Blaine licks down his throat, sucks a bruise where the collar had hidden before.   
  
'You're in my blood, my body, my mind, Blaine. How could anyone else take your place? Yours,' he keeps repeating the word, moaning it when Blaine bites down at a particular spot that he's sure is already purple and blue.  
  
'So perfect, so mine,' Blaine nips at the skin, marking it further. 'Going to devour you when Coop leaves. Spread you out and gorge myself on you,' he bites up Kurt's neck to his mouth again. Kissing with their swollen lips so aggressively that Kurt can feel his body tighten up at the little sparks of pain. It doesn't last long, Blaine pulls away with a sigh, 'but until then.'   
  
'Until then,' Kurt echos, pulling himself back into a seated position while Blaine scurries off his lap and starts to look through his closet. Until then, he thinks, Blaine will act like a boyfriend Until Then. Until Cooper leaves, and then it will be back to the Blaine that makes him crawl on the floor, and fucks him hard, makes him do things, and punishes him for acting human.   
  
Unless...  
  
Blaine's pretty much confirmed that Cooper isn't like him at all. If he could get to talking to Cooper alone, he may be free of this. He'll never have to eat out of a dog bowl, or be forced into a cramped cage, he'll never see Blaine again.  
  
Blaine will never let that happen though. He's too smart, knows how Kurt thinks and it could all be a trap. Maybe he lied about Cooper, wanting Kurt to crack and then when he does... oh god, he doesn't know what could be worse than what Blaine's already done, but he doesn't want to find out either.  
  
A pile of clothes get thrown into his lap. They look familiar, he didn't think Blaine had kept what he had abducted him in. Black skinny jeans, those are his, the heather gray turtleneck isn't, but the pinstriped vest definitely is. No boxers and he's too afraid to ask for any, he tugs on the clothes while sitting, only getting up to move them past his hips. The jeans aren't as tight as they used to be, nor is the vest, but the turtleneck looks okay, it would never fit Blaine though so he has to wonder where Blaine got this from.   
  
The clothes itch too, and where they don't itch, they rub against bruises and bring on reminders of all the places that Blaine has marked his body. Blaine walks over to him, already dressed in a button up and jeans, his hands smooth down Kurt's arms, a little more forceful than necessary on his left which brings back that old pain that never seems to go away. 'You're going to be good, yes?' it's not really a question.  
  
'Of course,' he replies back with anyway, making sure to keep eye contact with him. Blaine still looks uneasy, his eyes glancing back toward the bed and the ropes. 'I'm starving, can we please go eat?' Kurt prompts. He needs to get food at the very least, can feel the hunger headache he sometimes gets starting, breakfast is a necessity at this point.  
  
'Yes,' Blaine takes his hand, finally, and together they walk out of the room.  
  
The living room almost looks brand new this way. Kurt has never walked anywhere outside of the bedroom and bathroom. His knees still are shaken, calves aching with the extended use, and he can feel it when they give out.  
  
Blaine grabs him around the middle, before Kurt can crumble to the ground, and holds him against his chest. 'It's okay, just gotta get to the kitchen, hon,' he keeps one arm around Kurt's waist the entire trip there. Kurt can feel himself flush, ducking his head out of shame, he can't even get to kitchen, he's so pathetic now.   
  
The dining table comes into view quickly, Blaine lets him drop into a chair and then starts on whatever he's going to make for breakfast.  
  
Kurt looks back out into the living room, there isn't anybody there. 'I thought you said Cooper fell asleep on the couch,' he can't see anyone there now, they'd have to stretch themselves over it, the thing is way too small for anyone over twelve.   
  
'He probably stumbled into the makeshift guest room when we woke him up from our shower. There is no way he missed your screams,' another flush, and Kurt can't believe how little it's taking Blaine to make him go so red. Kurt just stares down at the table, maybe he'll just be quiet until Blaine wants something.  
  
The sound of a door opening makes him change his mind. He looks up and there, so clear as day, must be Cooper, Blaine's brother. He doesn't actually look a lot like Blaine, older, taller, with blue eyes and his hair seems to not have the curl to it like Blaine's, but the way he walks, the command of attention he attracts, that's all Blaine. Cooper is smiling too, an eerie similar smile that Blaine always makes when he's fucking Kurt past the point of Kurt's pleasure. 'I thought you said there wasn't anyone in your life, Blaine. Unless this is some random one night stand?' He sounds genuinely nice, sitting across from Kurt and his demeanor is completely relaxed. 'I'm Cooper,' he reaches a hand out and Kurt for half a second wonders what he wants.  
  
He slowly shakes Cooper's hand, but before he can say anything Blaine runs over to the pair, 'Cooper, this is Ryan. I didn't know if he was going to be able to make it in time before you left so I didn't want to mention him without a meeting. We live together.' It doesn't even sound like a lie, Kurt would have believed him, and it looks like Cooper does.   
  
'I'm guessing you haven't told the parents yet?' Cooper asks, his eyes not leaving Kurt's and Kurt hates the attention. He pulls his hand back and watches Blaine instead.  
  
'Of course not, you're the only one who knows, and you can't say anything, not to anyone. Ryan's family is looking for him and they can't find him.' Well, that is partially true. Kurt has to hand it to Blaine, the boy can spill out these little stories without a hint of lie detection.  
  
'Why not?' Cooper is asking Kurt. 'What happened?'  
  
Blaine is looking at Kurt too, he knows he has to answer this time, and answer correctly. 'They, they used to push me around,' he crosses his arms together, stares at the table, 'hit me, they hated me. After Blaine found out he pretty much kidnapped me.' He knows it's not true, it sounds good though, his shaky voice is believable, who wouldn't be upset talking about their awful family?  
  
He flinches badly when Cooper puts a hand on his shoulder, 'sorry,' the hand leaves, 'that's just really terrible.' He calms slightly when Blaine's fingers stroke over the back of his neck through the clothing. 'Lucky Blaine found you though, right?'  
  
Kurt looks up, watches Blaine go over to the stove and pile the food on three plates. 'Yes,' he says, Blaine coming back, placing the dishes down, 'very lucky.'  
  
He had thought, maybe, that Cooper might recognize him. Knows that's why Blaine is calling him 'Ryan,' but he doesn't see why. After that short discussion Cooper goes onto a twenty minute monologue all about himself. It's very clear that he doesn't watch the news, or even cares about people outside of the way they interact with him. Even his and Blaine's relationship looks artificial, he hates that it makes him feel bad for Blaine, it's very clear that no one in his household actually took time out to get to know him, or even bother with him at all. Absentee parents, absentee older brother, it makes for a very unhappy child.   
  
Blaine's hand finds itself under the table on Kurt's knee halfway though Cooper's speech, it doesn't move the entire time, just simply is there. To reassure Kurt, or to reassure himself, that is unclear. He's so completely out of tune with the conversation that he barely hears the question directed to him, 'So will you be coming with us to drop me off at the airport?'  
  
'No, Cooper, he hasn't slept much-' Blaine begins, getting interrupted by a wink from Cooper.  
  
'Well you could have let him sleep in past five in the morning. Sure your dick could have held on another hour,' it's said completely in jest but Kurt still hates it, tugs his left shoulder a bit so he can focus on the pain of that instead of this conversation.   
  
'Shut up,' Blaine smirks back to his brother. 'Besides, only I can stand your company in a car that long. I'm not having you drive my boyfriend away from me,' he pushes his chair back, hand gone from Kurt's knee. 'As it is, we probably should be going soon,' he pulls Kurt's chair out. A steady hand back around his waist when Kurt stand up again.   
  
'You guys are disgustingly cute, no, I don't think we should be in a car all together,' Cooper smiles, he holds his hand back out to Kurt, 'I hope this means we will see each other again? You won't go breaking my brothers heart, will you?'  
  
Kurt holds back a laugh at that, as if he could. 'No. Blaine is everything to me,' he glances briefly to Cooper but goes quickly over to Blaine. He looks very pleased, only a little wary but it disappears when Cooper gazes at him as well.   
  
'Let's get you to bed, sweetheart,' Blaine forces Kurt further away from Cooper, 'you can nap while I'm gone.' Lower, out of earshot for Blaine he adds, 'you'll definitely need it, pet.'  
  
He hears Cooper wolf whistle behind them once the door closes to Blaine's bedroom.  
  
'Get on the bed, stomach down,' commands Blaine. Kurt hears the change in tone, it's his punishment voice. He doesn't hesitate to obey, stretching his arms out once he settles into position. He wants to apologize but he doesn't know what happened. He thought he had done well.   
  
Blaine cuffs him with the metal restraints. Over the material of the turtleneck, over the bandages that still wrap around his wrists. 'No talking, I'm not going to gag you but if I hear a sound from this room you'll regret it,' and that's it. He doesn't slam the door behind him, gently pulls it closed and tells Cooper about how tired 'Ryan' is. How, 'Ryan' isn't usually up for company thanks to his past, and how long it took 'Ryan' to even let Blaine touch his hand.   
  
Kurt can't listen to it anymore, he feels like a failure. It was clear that Cooper was a nice guy, a little self absorbed but he would have helped Kurt, helped Blaine if he had just said something. He's so stupid, no wonder Blaine picked him, could sense just how much he wanted to roll over for him. Knew that Kurt would never try to leave because he's just not that bright or clever. He deserves whatever punishment Blaine gives him because he continually falls for Blaine and his lies. Early this morning Blaine just wanted to prove to himself that he could act nice, or maybe it was to show Kurt how he'll never have that. The domesticity was a lie, and now, or at least, once Blaine gets back, that will be the real life they share. He'll call Kurt a whore for begging for it earlier. It's so glaringly obvious that Blaine can weave lies that sound like the truth.   
  
It doesn't matter what Kurt feels, or how he felt. It was never about Blaine being lonely, it was about him wanting power over someone since he can't get that in his own life. Kurt was easy to him, a somewhat shared past, alone in a new city, Kurt was like a red light to him.   
  
He hears the front door open and shut and then starts to pull on the cuffs. He bites down into the pillow, there is no way he can continue on this way. The constant battle of his mind, he's so broken, rather be dead then to continue living in this misery. He pulls himself up, Blaine hadn't tied his ankles and tries to tug the handcuffs up along the headboard, at least sitting up he's not completely submissive but his body slips on the sheets, his left arm jolts, the front of it moving upward while he almost crashes down and he can almost hear the ligament tearing. He screams at the pain, this is worse than anything else he's ever felt. Like a thousand knives slicing into his shoulder blade, right where the the joint is. It feels like there's a bump, noticeable and he can't think of anything now. His whole body is focused just on the pain. He can't even move his arm, scared he'll do something worse and Blaine just left. He's going to be gone for hours and there is nothing Kurt can do but wait.

 

It's complete agony. Every second, every moment. Kurt has never felt such lasting pain. It circles, blasting through his body like liquid fire over and over again. How has he not passed out from this? He can't control the rapidness of his breathing, can't think about anything else. He can't stop screaming, his throat feels like it's bleeding from the abuse, and it never ends.  
  
Blaine is going to be furious, he'd left in an odd mood and when he comes back to see Kurt like this? It's going to be bad. What if he doesn't help? Will he just watch Kurt's body try to repair itself and not care so long as he gets to fuck him regularly? Kurt's body shudders at the scenarios, they keep building in his head and getting worse with each new one.   
  
The front door slams, the sound of it cutting off Kurt's screams, too easy to remember that little threat Blaine had left him before he dropped off Cooper. His body always obeys Blaine, it rarely works out in his favor.   
  
Still, he can't stop shaking, the closer Blaine gets the worse it quivers. He's still stomach down on the bed, can't look at Blaine, head pressed against the pillow, eyes shut tight.  
  
Another door, the bedroom door and Blaine is walking in. There isn't any sound from him, Kurt is biting into the pillow to stop the whimpers trying to escape his throat and he knows as soon as Blaine sees what he's done there is going to be so much anger. He's trembling, head to foot and that makes the shoulder joint hurt even more. How can he stomach all this pain? Where is the blissful darkness?  
  
Blaine is close now, seeming to stay silent along with Kurt. His hand slides down Kurt's hair to the back of his neck, moves to the left and Kurt howls into the pillow case. Fingers prob at the junction where his shoulder should be, 'What the fuck did you do?' It's a voice he's never heard before, it's passed mad, beyond angry, he's infuriated. The more his hand touches, the more intense the ache gets, 'you stupid little slut. Is this how you planned to get away? Think you'll pull off your arm and I'll just run you over to the ER?' The cuffs unlock, but Kurt feels paralyzed. He can't move his body, can't speak, too afraid to mess up and say the wrong thing.   
  
The smack to the back of his neck sends him spiraling. He screams, metallic taste in his mouth that he keeps having to swallow and not spit out. 'Did you go deaf and dumb as well? What were you hoping to achieve with this grand gesture?'   
  
'No, no, please Blaine,' he coughs, can't see anything on the sheets but can still taste blood. 'I'm sorry, I was only trying to sit up, please,' he can't stop begging. Blaine can't leave him like this, can't fuck him like this.   
  
'Couldn't even do that right, fucking pathetic, remind me why I keep you again?' Blaine's hands move off and Kurt can only sob in response. It's not as if he wasn't thinking the same thing when he tore his joint loose. He can't hear anything but the pounding of blood rushing through his ears, just waits until Blaine is pulling him up, turning him around so they're face to face. In Blaine's hands is a blue and red striped neck tie and syringe. What little courage he had goes cold. 'This is going to go one of two ways,' Blaine explains. 'Either take the needle and pass out, or you can stay awake and stomach the pain of me setting your shoulder back into place.'   
  
Kurt doesn't hesitate, he doesn't even care if what Blaine is telling him is true. He'll take the darkness over being here. 'I don't want to be awake,' he says, already feeling woozy with the pain, with what he's consenting to.  
  
Blaine hands him the syringe, 'gotta tie your arm for a second, don't drop that,' and uses the neck tie to wrap right below his elbow. He easily takes back the Ketamine, flicking the syringe and looking like he's having just a little too much fun as he brings it down to Kurt's arm.   
  
He can't look, Kurt turns his face away, wincing when the syringe pierces through his skin and the liquid gets injected. It's a little like getting blood drawn and he's only glad that he's never had an issue with needles before. The tie gets undone, and Blaine slides a hand in his hair, sorts through the strands with his fingers. It's so familiar that it helps calm him down.   
  
Blaine lowers him down, back against the bed now and his limbs feel heavy, pressing into the mattress and finally able to relax. His shoulder clenched to his chest still hurts but it's starting to lesson. He watches the ceiling of the room, can't look at Blaine, not like this, but the ceiling is okay. There's the touch of a hand, lifting the fabric of his turtleneck up, and the sound of scissors cutting through fabric. Can almost feel the cold blade on his skin. The ceiling starts getting darker and darker until it's black. He can't see anything, can't feel, can't think, he welcomes the black. It's his only escape.  
  
 _There's an unfamiliar kitchen in front of him. He's never seen it before, but he knows that he loves this kitchen. Kurt can tell that he picked out the dark furnishings, and he knows where everything is. Pots and pans underneath, plates and cups and bowls on top. There's the smell of gingerbread in the air, the oven on and there is leftover dough on the counter. 'Still cooking?' hands wrap around him from behind, a kiss to the side of his neck. He knows this touch, adores it.  
  
'Still baking,' he corrects, leaning back into the body behind him. Blaine doesn't smell like gingerbread, he smells just like Blaine, Kurt would recognize the scent anywhere. He holds his hands over Blaine's. 'Are you nervous?' He turns to look at him, Blaine's eyes shine, this is the happiest he's ever seen him.  
  
'Never. Your father loves me, and you're making cookies,' he kisses Kurt's cheek, letting his hands slide around and he twirls Kurt so they're facing each other. 'I love you,' he whispers, 'love you for always.'  
  
'You better,' Kurt smiles, gracing a soft peck over Blaine's lips, 'Love you too.' Blaine kisses him back, pushing Kurt gently until they reach the counter. 'They'll be here any minute,' Kurt warns, knows how Blaine can get carried away.   
  
'Ruin all my fun,' Blaine jokes back but he's still smirking. Kurt kisses him again, wraps his arms around Blaine's shoulders. He doesn't want this moment to end._  
  
Kurt feels like he could very easily get sick. His head throbs, his body is sore, and there is a sling over his left shoulder. He's used to waking up slick, Blaine inside him, on his stomach, and this is no different.  
  
'Good morning sleeping beauty,' Blaine whispers in his ear. He doesn't sound angry anymore and Kurt is the tiniest thankful for that. More happy that he can't feel the pain, it must have gone alright then.   
  
At a jolting thrust he has to cover up his mouth, can feel the bile in his throat rise. Blaine would not be pleased with that, he forces it down, not today, not now.   
  
'You ruined my plans yesterday,' has it been that long already? His days must be screwed up again. Blaine runs a hand down his spine, 'you're lucky you didn't need surgery for that dirty trick, silly boy.' The fingers swipe down his crack, slick with lube and press at where their bodies are joined. Kurt bites at his hand, muffling the yelp he couldn't help. He isn't all that clear headed, no more than before. The dream lingers at the back of his mind like a tease, he'll not be getting that today, not ever.   
  
Blaine continues, 'I don't even think you can crawl with that sling on your shoulder. What shall I do with my pet that can't behave? Can't exactly cage you like this,' small mercies, Kurt thinks. Blaine's hips are agonizingly slow, but Kurt knows why, can feel the dried up come on his skin, he's so wet, it's not all lube down there. He knows the feeling all too well. His own cock is hard, but it's as if that feeling is far away, he can feel the strain in his body but it's all muted. This must be the aftereffects of whatever it was that Blaine gave him. Blaine continues to roll his hips down into him, his teeth at the back of Kurt's neck to suck another bruise there.  
  
The fingers at his rim press in, alongside Blaine's cock and Kurt desperately wants to reject them, but his body craves the feeling of making Blaine feel good. It doesn't matter that his mind screams at the intrusion. 'You always take what I give you,' Kurt winces, he knows Blaine is about to make him feel a whole lot worse, 'such a slut for it. Pet, you never really fought me off, not even at your most clear. You know why?' another bite to his neck, 'you need this. If you had really wanted to leave why didn't you? You could have said anything to Cooper, but no, you continued with my lie. Acted your part so well, because you know you don't want to leave.' His thrusts start to pick up, 'you know that daddy and step-mommy dearest would never look at you the same way. If they knew how much you begged so prettily for me. The things you've done, would you be able to look them in the eye while remembering how well you suck my cock? Or remembering my feet on your shoulders as you ate out of a bowl like the bitch you are? Who would care for such damaged goods?'  
  
Kurt's eyes burn with the images, memories overriding his brain, he can't not picture the awful things. 'Stop,' he cries, he can't think about his family while Blaine uses his body like this, 'don't talk about them, I can't-'  
  
'Why not?' Blaine interrupts. 'Don't you want to know what they're up to? How they have moved on without you baby?' and that can't be true, his father never would have given up. 'How all your friends just forgot, how the loud one, Rachel, used interviews about you to talk about herself? She's on Broadway now. They're all so happy without you there.'   
  
'You're lying,' he has to be. Kurt can't believe that everyone would just give up, he'd never do that to one of them.  
  
'Why would I need to do that?' Blaine's hips snap down sharply, 'fuck, so good,' he breathes out, so close to Kurt's ear. 'You're not leaving, so why would I lie to you? Shouldn't you be happy that they all moved on from their miserable lives? So selfish, baby,' he bites on the lobe, 'did you expect them to still be searching for you? You've been replaced hon, they ruled you out as dead a month ago. Cold case, buh-bye.'   
  
No, no, that can't be true. They don't have a body, they don't have anything to suspect that he's dead. His father would not be okay with that, 'my dad-'  
  
'Oh yes, Mr. Congress Man. Retired after a heart attack, his second one. He and step-mom moved far away from Lima, too many memories I'm sure,' he giggles behind Kurt. 'Oh pet, is this upsetting you?'   
  
Kurt didn't even realize that he was crying, his whole body wrecked with sobs. He can't think beyond that his dad had another heart attack and he wasn't there. He's not going to be there either, not again.   
  
A press against his left shoulder alerts him to Blaine. It doesn't exactly hurt, but it's still sore, 'They're happier thinking you're dead Kurt. No longer having to obsess about every unknown body that gets found in New York. Not trying to track down years old clues that lead them in endless circles with nothing new.'  
  
'Years?' that can't be right. He couldn't have been gone that long.  
  
'Two of them yes, we're coming up to our anniversary but don't worry, I'm sure your shoulder will be healed by then.' Blaine pulls back a little, fingers and cock slipping out of Kurt's ass. 'Want your mouth, want those pretty lips wrapped around me and having you gag for it.' He maneuvers Kurt's body like a doll, Kurt acquiesces, letting himself get turned over and pulled whichever way Blaine wants. Blaine's hand touches over his face, sliding down the tear streaked cheeks, it falls away to his right shoulder, 'go on. Earn your keep, pet.' His smile so big, eyes bursting with amusement.  
  
Once Blaine leans back enough, Kurt carefully settles himself. He knows this, he can do this, a post-orgasm Blaine will be so much easier to deal with. With his left arm in the sling he has to balance with only his right, keeping it on Blaine's thigh as he sinks himself down.   
  
The first touch of his lips to Blaine's cock instantly brings Blaine's hands to his hair. He shields his teeth, doesn't fight it when Blaine pushes him down. 'There we go,' Blaine sighs happily above him. His hips thrust up when the hands push Kurt down and it makes his throat constrict around Blaine's dick. Kurt pushes the impulse away, pulling back enough that the tip of Blaine's cock isn't so far down his throat and starts to suck. He swivels his tongue over the tip as his head gets bobbed by the hands in his hair.   
  
He blocks out how only moments ago he felt like he was going to vomit, he breaks from the thoughts about his family and his friends. He thinks of taste, how he can easily distinguish between himself, Blaine's precome, and Blaine's come. It's sharper all together, getting swallowed down his throat like water. Two years of his life has been spent on his knees for this man. He fears the days he let drift on, what if something had happened? It's too glaringly obvious that he should have not let that happen. Days got skipped and slipped over, at the time he thought it would preserve his mind but he can see now that it was just the beginning of the cracks that started to form. Hours upon hours wasted daydreaming about a home that doesn't exist anymore and he knows he's never leaving now. Not even if Blaine let him free could he walk away, legs too weak, arm forever being a burden, body strung out, worn out, and his mind is so damaged, so broken. They'll never fix what's wrong with him.  
  
He'd rather die but he knows that won't be an option. Blaine will protect him from himself. Tie him up with ropes and chains so Kurt can't harm what Blaine believes is his. Maybe it is at this rate, Kurt doesn't want this body, this mind, any longer.  
  
When come starts shooting down his throat he almost chokes. Habit and habit alone making him swallow down the semen until Blaine's cock is out of his mouth, the taste lingering as he licks his lips. He doesn't know what to do anymore, mind empty, body so tired. He moves easily when Blaine presses them together. Mouth on Kurt's and tongue thrusting past his open lips. Kurt doesn't really feel it though, can't focus, can't think, just reacts the way he's been trained to. 'You did so well, pet,' Blaine murmurs between kisses, carefully wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. He says the words like he didn't just call Kurt a whore, slut, like he hadn't just told him everything he thought was a lie. Blaine just continues kissing him, playful nips at his bottom lip, sucking on his tongue, even small closed pecks. Kurt keeps expecting it to escalate, for the hands at least to move down to his ass but it never does.   
  
Blaine pulls back, just enough for their lips to not touch, 'breakfast, pet?' Kurt nods, he knows he should feel hungry, even if he doesn't feel the pains of it like usual. Blaine kisses him once more and then moves off the bed, 'I'll bring it back for you,' he says and Kurt watches him walk out the door. He wipes off the sweat from his body with one of the blankets surrounding him. Can still feel Blaine's come inside him, from before, spilling out and drying uncomfortably between the cheeks of his ass. He can't look at himself, can't clean down there without Blaine, doesn't want to see the wasteland that his body has become. His bones sticking out, stomach concave and ribs sharp against his skin. He doesn't need to feel his body to know how malnourished it's starting to get, he lives more off Blaine's come than food some days. Then there are the rainbow of bruises that get scattered over the stretched skin, purples, blues, greens, blacks, and browns, some yellow but not that many. He has seen glances of them, tries not to look at his body when faced with the mirror in the bathroom, doesn't usually look beyond his upper chest that's usually only blue and purple.   
  
He hates himself. Hates how easily he got molded into this person, this  _pet_. Too afraid to even clean come off his body because Blaine might be angry about it. His hands curl into fists, fuck, what has he become? Someone's plaything? This is what Kurt Hummel has ended up as?  
  
'Kurt, your hands are bleeding,' Blaine sets down the plates on the table. Kurt didn't even hear him come in, he brings up his right hand, oh, yes, there is a bit of blood underneath his fingernails. Blaine sits him up,  _doll, plaything, pet_ , Kurt thinks. Holds a water bottle to his lips, 'drink this,' he says.   
  
Kurt's not given much to not obey, the water, no, not exactly water, slides down his throat easily. He keeps swallowing down, gulp after gulp until the bottle is empty. 'Good boy,' Blaine moves back, 'I'll go get a towel for you okay?'   
  
He feels lightheaded, nods at Blaine's words and waits until Blaine gets out of the bathroom, wrapping a small hand towel over the cuts in both of his palms. They aren't too bad, already stopped bleeding, and Kurt sits patiently as Blaine cleans off the fingertips. 'Thank you,' he whispers, still itching where the come is dried but he doesn't want to ask, if Blaine doesn't do it automatically, maybe it means they're showering later.   
  
'Of course,' Blaine answers, kisses Kurt's cheek and tosses the cloth away. 'Hungry?' he grabs one of the plates, grabs a piece of ham with his fingers and holds it to Kurt's lips. Kurt opens his mouth obediently, a happy fog starting to cloud his mind and he's never welcomed that feeling more than ever.   
  
  
Days pass, Kurt tries not to slip into an altered state but it gets harder with each moment. All he can think is what Blaine wants. He been pushing thoughts of his family, of his friends, of escaping all back, what's the point? Blaine was right before, he wouldn't be able to look at any of his family in the eye. He's forgotten his own fathers name, his step-mothers, what kind of person is he? To so easily forget things like that? Not one that deserves their freedom. That's for sure.  
  
It's easier like this anyway. Before, where he was fighting his mind, it was so exhausting. Now, things are Blaine's Way, and he hasn't been punished or called horrible names these last few days, it's a nice trade off.   
  
He's laying on the bed now, spends most of his time here, unless Blaine helps him out to the sofa in the living room. Blaine hasn't made him try to crawl yet, shoulder still healing, but Kurt knows that this won't last forever. As soon as he gets strong enough it's back to his knees, but he's okay with that. He brings his right hand up to his neck, Blaine hasn't put the collar back on. It feels so bare without the leather strap, he knows that Blaine is waiting for him to ask for it. Knows that by the way Blaine looks at his throat, the way his fingers and mouth lavish over the skin that he misses having the collar there as well.   
  
He laughs to himself realizing that for once, there is no shackles on his body. Not a lick of metal slapped on his wrists or ankles. Blaine is just outside of the room, he's not sure what he's doing, but he's been gone a while. Kurt grabs the water bottle off the bedside table, it's not really water but he doesn't have anything else and takes a large sip of the laced liquid.   
  
Whatever it is, it makes his mind happy. Sometimes it makes the walls move, and sometimes it drags out people from his past but he knows they aren't real. Rarely does it make his arms itch, Blaine had to hold his hands one time, they washed blood from under his fingertips again that day. He puts the water bottle back and leans against the pillows, maybe he'll sleep while he waits for Blaine to be finished with whatever it is he's doing.   
  
Or, his hand trails down his body, strokes over his own cock. Blaine loves his body, spends so much time tasting his skin, there isn't an inch of flesh that Blaine has not touched with his tongue. Kurt hasn't, it almost feels foreign to him, he's so used to Blaine's, never has touched himself while he's been here, it felt wrong before. It feels much better now, he drags his hand over himself, mind rewinding memories of last night, this morning. It really doesn't matter, he still has a toy inside of him, he presses down against the bed to push it further into him. Moaning wantonly as it touches his prostate and he wonders when the last time he actually came. He's so used to making sure Blaine gets off he rarely focuses on himself. His skin is prickling with sweat, his heart is beating faster and faster, his lungs expanding as he breathes out shakily. He wishes that he had the use of his other hand, wants to touch, feel the difference between his skin and Blaine's.   
  
The bed dips beside him. Kurt didn't even realize his eyes were closed, but he can smell Blaine and that only helps. He smirks, figures that Blaine would come in once he found something to do. 'Are you having fun, pet?' Blaine slides a hand to his chest, flicks a nipple with his finger. Kurt nods, humming with approval as the hand moves up to his neck, always circling it, and up to his chin.   
  
Kurt opens his mouth, knows that's what Blaine wants and gets rewarded by three fingers gliding inside. He sucks on them, gets them wet, knows this is what Blaine likes. Blaine's other hand is sliding down to where the toy is still snug inside him. He starts to thrust the toy into Kurt, presses the button that turns the toy on and it begins vibrating inside him. Kurt moans around the fingers, hips arching up into the pleasure, he fists his cock harder, wants to come now, needs it.   
  
Blaine pulls his fingers away, Kurt can feel him move down, scent so much stronger when their lips touch and he hungers for Blaine, again wishing that his damn left arm was of some use. 'Want you,' he tells him as the toy continues to fuck and pulse into his ass. He's so close, just needs Blaine's permission, 'please, Blaine, please,' he whimpers.   
  
A hint of a smile pressed against his cheek, a swipe of tongue to his lips, 'you can come, pet.' Kurt keens, low in his throat as he spills over his hand, sucks on Blaine's lips as his hips roll up, still has the toy and it's still on, makes him come longer, harder. If he wasn't sleepy before he definitely is now. The toy gets turned off and pulled out, he can feel Blaine's fingers slide into him, three of them so easy with the toy keeping him stretched. 'You still have my come in you,' Blaine whispers it like a secret. Kurt already knows this, it's another reason why the toy was inside him.   
  
'You wanted me ready,' he replies, feeling the drags of sleepiness getting through him. He stifles a yawn, knows that he's going to be asleep soon. Blaine laughs into his right shoulder.  
  
'If only I knew before, I'd have kept you like this from the start,' he says into the skin of Kurt's chest. Kisses a nipple and Kurt can't really process what he's saying. Sleep is arriving and he's so tired...  
  
Yet, at the press of Blaine's cock into him he can't fall unconscious entirely. Can feel Blaine, the way he moves Kurt's legs up and over his shoulders, how he had dragged a pillow and put it under his ass,  _when did that happen?_  the air from his mouth as he breathes, lips so close to Kurt's again.   
  
Kurt lifts his head so he can kiss Blaine. It puts a little strain on his neck and shoulders but he doesn't mind. Wants Blaine to be happy, happy Blaine makes Happy Life. He uses his right arm to pull Blaine closer, can feel their sweat mixing as their bodies slides over one another. It's so loud, clamoring over the way their skin slaps as Blaine rocks into him. He bites onto Blaine's bottom lip, the touch of over sensitivity startling him. The water usually dulls that, but maybe it was simply because he hadn't had enough. He'll make sure to get another sip before he falls asleep.  
  
Blaine bites back, smiling when they simply press their lips together, Blaine's out of breath, so close now, his body is shaking above Kurt. In fact, Kurt realizes, he's sweating a lot more than usual, trembling harder too, he never does that. 'Are you okay?' he whispers, unsure if Blaine wants him to comment on it.   
  
'Fine, shhh,' Blaine kisses him quiet, thrusting deeper into him, and it's only twice more before he's coming, spilling into Kurt's ass and biting on his lip. He lets Kurt's legs drop to the bed, and pulls out, moves over slightly to collapse on his back next to Kurt. 'We have to go on a trip,' he says, almost to the ceiling.   
  
Kurt nods, 'okay,' he'll agree to whatever Blaine wants. Makes no counter argument, besides, he's eager to dream away. He takes another sip of water and cuddles close to Blaine, the blackness is ever so wonderful.

 

 _Today just hadn't been his day. From missing his first class, to being late to his audition, he just wants this to be over. He's in line at Starbucks, he's just going to get his drink to go and then say goodnight to this awful day.  
  
The man in front of him is joking with the barista taking his order. Kurt looks at his black curly hair, gelled in submission, the stylish, expensive, brand-name clothes that he only wishes he could put in his wardrobe and he kind of wants to hate him. Yet, his voice is soothing, a singer definitely, and he seems only too nice, thanking the girl behind the register and turning back and fuck, Kurt didn't expect that, neither did the man. The coffee cup in his hands doesn't have a lid and just spilled all over Kurt's jacket, drips down to his Doc Martens. 'Ohmygosh I'm so sorry!' The man says, and Kurt almost scoffs, of course this happened today. He's almost ready to snap back with a comment but this stranger is pretty gorgeous. He is offering Kurt a sympathetic smile, and looks truly saddened about what he did.  
  
'It's fine,' Kurt tries to grin back. He fails.  
  
'No, lemme buy you something? It's the least I could do,' the barista behind them hands over a towel and the stranger dabs at Kurt's coat, 'please?' he asks. 'You'll be doing me a favor, honestly.'   
  
Is he being flirted with? Kurt isn't used to the attention. The stranger is still smiling, his eyes full of hope, and Kurt can't help but think that yes, he most certainly is being chatted up in line at Starbucks. 'Okay,' he agrees, holds his hand out, 'I'm Kurt.'  
  
'Blaine,' the man,  _Blaine_ , replies. Their hands shake and Kurt never wants to let go, he does though, stuffs it back into his pocket. 'Grande, non-fat, with whip, mocha?' he tells the barista, looking to Kurt as if it's a question.  
  
'How did you know?' Kurt is completely charmed.   
  
'I may have seen you here a few times, you grabbed my focus,' Blaine answers back, sounding a little apprehensive. Kurt just smiles harder, this guy, this gorgeous guy, noticed him before and cared enough to memorize his coffee order.   
  
'Now I'm beginning to think you spilled coffee on me on purpose,' he jokes back to Blaine.   
  
'Oh no, just that naturally clumsy. You have no idea,' Blaine self-deprecates.   
  
'Tell me more?' Kurt says. 'We can sit for a while, unless you have something to do?'  
  
Blaine reaches out for Kurt's hand again, it feels a bit possessive for someone he just met, but Kurt isn't used to this and maybe it's just him, 'there's no where else I'd rather be.'  
_  
  
Everything is so heavy when he wakes up. He can hear Blaine shuffling around, muttered panicked curses picking up when he gets closer to the bed, fading as he moves away. Kurt registers that there are jeans on his legs, and a tee shirt on his torso. The jeans itch, but the top smells like Blaine, he absently brings it to his nose to inhale the scent, letting it wash over him.  
  
'Kurt,' Blaine sounds so sad, Kurt wants to open his eyes but they won't cooperate, he holds his hand out instead. It is instantly taken, can feel Blaine crouch over him, their lips coming together like magnets but everything feels off. Blaine's face is wet, and where their chests are pressed, Blaine's heart is beating madly. 'I had so many plans,' Blaine tells him when their lips part.  
  
'What's wrong?' is it about their trip? Kurt clutches Blaine's shirt, pulls their foreheads together when it seems like Blaine is trying to get away.   
  
'I gotta go,' Blaine whispers, breath coming out shaky, 'I can't take you with me, it's too late.' His hand comes over Kurt's, pries Kurt's fingers off of him.  
  
'What?' Kurt can feel his own tears now, threatening to spill. Blaine can't leave him here, he'll die. 'Was I bad?'   
  
Blaine gets close again, hand on his face. 'No, no, no. You're perfect. You're mine, no matter what anyone else says. No matter what happens, okay? I'm gonna find you after some time passes,' he presses a kiss to Kurt's hairline, presses leather into his hand. 'I'm so sorry, pet,' and then he is off of Kurt.   
  
'But,' none of this makes sense, Kurt can't process with his mind going so slow. He has never heard Blaine apologize before, not once. 'I'm yours,' he tells, not sure if Blaine is even still in the room. There is a sudden crash near the front of the house, like someone is trying to break down the door, a smash of glass nearby. Gunshots start to ring out, the sound of a dog snarling and Kurt can't understand how all this happening. He just woke up, they were supposed to go on their trip. Sleep is pulling at him again, too overwhelmed for what is going on, and he lets it drag him under, back into nothingness.  
  
There aren't dreams to welcome him. Flashes of strange things, people he's never seen hovering over him. Sounds of himself screaming when one of them tries to touch him, even worse when someone tries to tug the collar from his hands. Machines in a vehicle. Needles pressed into his underarm. Whispers of 'undernourished, sickly.' White walls. White ceiling. A man trying to ask him questions but Kurt can't hear him and can't make his own mouth move. His father and step mother sitting in chairs looking at him with such pity.  
  
Blackness.  
  
 _They're in bed, Kurt is sitting up in the sheets while Blaine is half asleep. His shoulder is all healed, left hand swirling through Blaine's curly hair, right hand clasped in Blaine's hand. 'I love you,' Blaine says, reaching to pull Kurt back down. Kurt goes willingly, sliding under the covers with Blaine and letting Blaine manhandle their positions until Kurt is straddling his waist. He can feel the relief pour from Blaine, the boy always seems so stressed until he's with Kurt.  
  
They've already fucked once, Kurt splayed on his stomach while Blaine opened him up with tongue and fingers. Blaine loves his ass, his hands stray there most of the time, he can make Kurt come the fastest when he's got his tongue buried in between the cheeks. Kurt doesn't remember coming this morning, remembers last night, Blaine's cock so deep in his throat and just taking it. Having no shame as the second Blaine's fingers encircled him he climaxed. He can feel Blaine now, sliding down Blaine's body slowly, can feel him hard and hot against his ass. 'You woke up quick,' Kurt smirks, rutting against Blaine to get some friction for himself.   
  
'You're just that alluring, pet,' Blaine smiles back. Kurt kisses him quiet, today feels like a good day.  
  
'I love you,' he whispers into Blaine's lips, sealing it with more kisses. _  
  
Beeping. Incessant, and loud, wakes Kurt up. He doesn't want to be awake, he knows that Blaine is gone and there are things attached to his arms, can feel an itchy cloth over him, but he still has the collar in his hand. He can't smell Blaine here, it smells like medicine and bad dreams, he can't think about what happened. Blaine is gone, oh god, Blaine is gone and now he's going to be alone. One of the machines really starts to beep now, he can hear muttering of how fast his heart is beating, but he can only remember how fast Blaine's was against his chest. 'What's wrong?' and that voice sounds familiar.  
  
'He's awake,' that one isn't. He feels a hand try to grab the collar again but he pulls it close to his chest.   
  
'No, mine,' he whispers, it's all he's got. He can't give it up.  
  
'Kurt, you can let it go now. You're okay.' There is that voice again, the familiar one. His eyes hesitantly open, shutting quick at the bright light and blinking. When he can focus, he can see that he's in a hospital. Strapped to a bed, I.V. in his arm, and his step-mother and father standing, starring at him. He feels like it's a little anti-climatic, he should be more happy about this, yet the touch of the collar makes him ache for Blaine.   
  
'Where's Blaine?' if they know would they tell them? He can't really focus, there is too much, maybe if he knew where Blaine was...  
  
'He got away, but I'm sure the police will find him,' his father says, he sounds almost angry. Kurt lets out a sigh, okay, Blaine is okay, probably going to wherever he was going to take Kurt. 'But you don't have to see him again, we'll make sure of it.'  
  
'But,' Kurt doesn't understand, 'I'm Blaine's.' Even he can feel the tension once the words leave his mouth, his father looks at him crestfallen, step-mother looks like she's about to cry. 'No, you don't get it, you guys moved on, you weren't supposed to find me.'   
  
His father isn't even looking at him anymore, 'I'll get a psychologist up here,' the unknown man says, but Kurt isn't listening. His skin is burning where they have the needle to the I.V., he wants to go home.   
  
Kurt looks down at his left shoulder, properly placed now but he still can't feel it. He remembers the care that Blaine put into it, when they showered and how he'd hold Kurt close, make sure that he didn't twist it out of place. How carefully he'd put the sling back on, Kurt doesn't want to do that without Blaine.  
  
'Kurt,' it's his step-mom, why can he not remember their names? 'We missed you.'  
  
'Not enough to find me,' he snaps back, 'everybody was better off without me. Blaine needs me.'  
  
'No, Blaine needs to be put in jail and some really intense therapy, Kurt. Why are your legs so weak?' his father.... 'Kurt, you're practically starving, what was he doing to you?'  
  
And Kurt can hear Blaine's voice in his ear,  _you know that daddy and step-mommy dearest would never look at you the same way. If they knew how much you begged so prettily for me. The things you've done, would you be able to look them in the eye while remembering how well you suck my cock? Or remembering my feet on your shoulders as you ate out of a bowl like the bitch you are? Who would care for such damaged goods?_  'Can you guys go please?' he thinks he needs to cry for a good ten years, he feels cold and can't break down before his parents.  
  
'Kurt-'   
  
'Just go, please.' Kurt needs to be alone for a while. Needs to understand what has happened. Blaine isn't his boyfriend  _but he is, he's Blaine's, no matter what_. Needs to try to get his head back on straight. He is back with his family, it's all he wanted for so long. It occurs to him, 'It was Cooper Anderson wasn't it? He recognized me.'  
  
'Yes, called the police this morning,' Burt, that's what his father's name is. 'We'll just be in the waiting room okay?' Kurt nods, watches them leave and when the door closes he lets out the tears he was holding in.   
  
He's out. He's safe. He's where he needs to be to get help.  
  
He doesn't care. He knows how wrong that is. Knows that wanting Blaine now is probably a side effect of his imprisonment but he can't stop the desperate yearning in his stomach, his heart, his mind. They all pulled him towards Blaine, always, and now?  
  
What is he supposed to do now? Get better? He can't imagine his life post-Blaine. He had given it up, it almost feels unfair of them to bring him back now. There isn't a way to reconnect the giving up parts of his brain to the others, not at this moment. He can't even imagine telling others what happened to him, what he and Blaine had done. They're not going to understand, how could they? Even the nice things, the little things, they're not for anyone else to know. He leans his head further back into the pillows, they're nothing like the ones he's used to, his whole body is itchy and uncomfortable. He can't seem to drop the collar either, still in his hand, creating an indent to where he pressed against it. Only a matter of time until they do take it, he is surprised it's still with him, surely they could have gotten it from him when he was passed out?  
  
The door gets knocked on, two loud thumps that make Kurt's head hurt. Another man peering in, 'I'm Mr. Taylor, the psychologist.'  
  
Kurt rolls his eyes to the ceiling, the time for thinking is now over.  
  
  
It goes on like that for days. The doctors, the police, both asking him what happened, how did he get to be this way. Even Burt and Carole asking, but Kurt doesn't dare. He just tells them that Blaine and him stayed in the house, nothing more, nothing less. He doesn't even talk to the psychologist, the man keeps throwing out these stupid theories, saying he's got Stockholm Syndrome, and this thing called Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Kurt is sure the guy is nuts, he knows perfectly well that Blaine was awful to him, he remembers how many fights they had gotten into, how many punishments had broken his mind. He knows that he should be hating Blaine and happy he's safe, but he can't connect to anything. Even his father can't touch him without him wincing.   
  
The dreams just continue too. Getting stronger, and they are just that, dreams, idealized life with Blaine. He doesn't get the nightmares that involved his memories any longer, those stopped so long ago. Figures that his fucked up body and mind wouldn't want to cooperate, they've always sided with Blaine.  
  
Still, he's going to go to Burt and Carole's house, the doctors aren't happy about it, neither is the police but they can't make him stay here. It's all he asked for, he had to manipulate Burt a little, saying how he didn't want to have to beg for  _home_  but he needs out of this hospital.   
  
His legs are a bit better too, he can walk on them much longer without support. The physicality of his time are easier to heal than the cracks in his mind, like how often he can't sleep because he keeps waiting for Blaine. The doctors gave him some sleeping pills but he doesn't take them, hides them instead in the small bag of possessions he got back. He still has the collar too, just wrapped it around his wrist like a bracelet, no one can take it off this way and it calms him down seeing it there.   
  
'Ready to go?' Burt asks him, offering a hand that he knows Kurt will not touch. Kurt is dressed in sweats, a lot less fabulous but clothes don't hold the same spark as they did before. Everything still makes him itch, he scratches at his skin but is careful to not do too much, does not need them to think that he's crazy. So, he follows Burt, (just Burt, Carole's at work and he hasn't heard a mention of anyone else wanting to see him) out of the room, gets into the wheelchair that he's bound to until they get to Burt's car. Signs all the papers for his release, happy for once that Burt was a well known congress man because it's probably the only way this is really happening.   
  
He's used to drifting, does it on the drive back to Burt and Carole's. There's something prickling at his skin, in his mind, today feels different. He's been off the drugs that Blaine gave him for almost a week now, head not foggy anymore, but the hospital also gave him numbing agents for his shoulder that actually is nearly healed. Apparently Blaine fixed it correctly, it's sore for now, his sling got taken off, replaced and now it's free. He still holds it close to his body when he isn't doing exercises to help get the muscle back. Blaine hadn't lied about it being fixed for their two year anniversary, it's coming up in three days.   
  
It's odd to think about time. He hasn't had to in so long and now knowing the days, the hours, the very minutes of the day, it makes time seem go by so slow. He has a new cell phone now, programmed with all of his old friends numbers but he has no desire to talk to them, not really to anyone. He speaks with Burt on superficial topics, they don't mention the last two years, they don't talk about the future. Burt doesn't even look at him in the eye, he stares at the collar on his wrist, a frown always etched on his features like he's disappointed that Kurt is so weak.   
  
'This is it,' Burt tells him, pulling up into the driveway of a large home. Kurt doesn't take in the features, everything is pretty muted now. He just follows Burt into the house, into the kitchen where Burt will probably make food that makes Kurt sick. It's not that he doesn't want to eat, but they expect him to have so much, his stomach just can't take it. So he picks at whatever they put in front of him, it all tastes the same anyway.  
  
'Kurt? You with me?' Burt asks. Kurt blinks, they're sitting at the table, food in front, and Kurt's been starring at the table like it's a Picasso painting.   
  
'Sorry,' he says on reflex.  
  
'Kurt, you don't have to apologize for every little thing. It's okay.' But it's not, nothing is okay, Kurt knows how wrong he is, how fucked up he is, and if anyone found out...  
  
'I'm pretty tired, is it okay if I take a nap?' he holds onto the phone, the same hand as the collar, he keeps expecting an unknown number to text him, tell him what to do but it's silent. He's free now, what is Blaine waiting for?  
  
'Yea, um, there's a guest room in the basement, or one upstairs, take your pick,' Burt looks afraid, but Kurt just can't please anyone, he's not even trying to make himself happier. He does smile though, small to him as he passes and decides to take the guest room in the basement. The idea of being in a room that has a window to the outside seems dangerous.   
  
The stairs tire him out, his legs are burning by the time he reaches the bed and lays down.  _Where are you Blaine?_  His eyes locked on his phone, it's turned on vibrate because he can't let anyone else know.   
  
He knows it's fucked up. God, Blaine raped him over and over again, put him in a cage, made him blind and deaf and he's still waiting for him. Wanting to be back with Blaine, but he just can't see any other way to move forward. He wasn't lying when he told Blaine that he was it for him, and he doesn't want to be alone.   
  
 _Kurt knows that Blaine is somewhere. The room is dark and he has to step carefully to avoid making sound. He feels his way over to a wall, can hear breath, he's so close, just one more-  
  
'Blaine!' two hands come up behind him, spinning him so his back is against the wall. 'You cheat,' he still can barely see him, but he can smell him, he's missed that scent so much, he ducks his head bringing his nose to Blaine's neck.  
  
'You're such a dog, smelling me,' his voice is fond, petting at Kurt's sides that are bare, oh, wow, he didn't even realize he wasn't wearing anything. He feels around Blaine, can feel boxers but no, there isn't anything else. He lays his hands down low on Blaine's hips, whimpers when Blaine nips at his collar bone.  
  
'You're one to talk, always chomping on me,' his words have less merit when he moans at the end, Blaine sucking on the back of his ear, hands slipping down to his ass and pressing them harder together. 'Fuck,' Kurt can feel just how much Blaine wants, rolls his hips against Blaine, gets their mouths back to one another. He smiles hard into the kiss, this is what he wants, what he needs. He can feel Blaine's answering grin and soon they aren't even kissing anymore, just smirking against each others lips.   
  
He's laughing, sliding his hands up to get to Blaine's hair when the lights snatch on, he has to close his eyes against the brightness, instantly missing Blaine's touch.   
  
When his eyes open, Blaine is gone._  
  
Kurt wakes up to the light, he doesn't remember turning on the lamps, but maybe Burt came down and did that for him. It's still early, according to the clock on the other side of the wall, not even five in the afternoon but he can't get up, body having settled into the mattress. His hand coming up to check his phone, he didn't mean to fall asleep, but his phone just tells him the time, there are no missed calls, no missed messages.   
  
Maybe he just needs more time, he did say 'when some time passes,' but what is 'some time?' how is Kurt supposed to measure that? His heart is crushing, he feels like he can barely breathe without Blaine. Just barely holding it together in front of everybody else and he's not even doing that great of a job. He knows that he's going to have therapy sessions, six times a week, and physical therapy for his leg and arm twice a week. His body will repair, but his mind is gone. They waited too long, he already gave up, he can't get better from this, he just wants Blaine.   
  
He opens up his message folder in his phone, starts a blank one.  
  
 **I know you're everything that's wrong with me but it doesn't stop me from wanting you.**  
  
Saves it, starts another.  
  
 **You fucked me up, you need to be here to deal with it.  
  
** Another. **  
  
Just find me. You have never lied to me. Find me. Please.  
  
** He can't stop, soon his draft folder boasts fifty-six messages all to a blank sender. Kurt locks his phone and holds it to his chest, maybe Blaine is waiting until their anniversary. He'll try to hold out till then.

 

It hurts. This pain in his stomach, in his body, all in his mind.  _It doesn't stop._  He can't eat the day of their anniversary, every time he tries he ends up in the bathroom spilling his guts over the toilet. He's empty, paler than ever, the bags under his eyes look like bruises. There is no outside world to him, he refuses to go to therapy, to see a doctor. What good can they do? There is no way to fill this void that consumes him. At night he lays on his bed, stares at the ceiling for eight hours and tries to not think of how much he's decaying.   
  
He knows Carole and Burt are worried. They keep coming to check up on him in the bathroom, offering water, bread, saltine crackers. He finally curls in on himself on the floor after getting a blanket from Carole. Can feel how hard the floor is on his still mending bones but at least that detracts from the ache. He's going to die, he can't survive.   
  
'He's like a ghost, Carole.' Burt's voice carries lightly down the stairs from where they sit in the kitchen. 'Going to end up in the hospital again if we don't do something.'  
  
Carole hesitates before answering, 'I think in his mind if Blaine isn't around than he shouldn't be either.' She sighs, 'he's gaining strength in his legs, and his arm is doing well, but I don't think he can even sort out his mind. It's a side effect of the C-PTSD. He's having dissociative episodes more often now, I'm not even sure if he realizes when he's awake most days. Especially not today.' They all know what today is.  
  
'Isn't there something we can do? He looks so hopeless,' his father sounds nearly close to tears, Kurt wishes he could feel bad for it.   
  
He listens to the sound of chairs, and turns away from the rest of the conversation. Presses a finger to a vein in his wrist, can feel the blood pumping away. All of today he had hoped for something from Blaine but nothing, not a peep, not a whisper, nothing. Blaine must now want his damaged goods anymore. He would have gotten a hold of him by now if he had, after everything they went through, Blaine would have tried harder. Maybe Kurt isn't worth that work anymore.  
  
Kurt certainly doesn't feel worth much nowadays. Despite what Carole thinks, he knows the differences between sleep and waking, he just doesn't really differentiate the two so much now. What does anything matter if Blaine isn't here? There is no cure for Kurt's fucked up mind, no one will want his fucked up body, he wishes for death, it has to be better than this endless stream of days.   
  
 _It is dark all around him. The kind that fills in every sense, no sight, sound, smell, there isn't even any taste. Touch though, he can feel the floor underneath his bare feet. He's pretty sure he's naked, but he can't make out anything else. His legs are walking, it's endless. A pathway of blinding black. His body keeps moving, determined in a way his mind will never be again but nothing is there. Nothing is anywhere here. He can't even open his mouth to speak, can feel a gag in his mouth and his vocal chords are paralyzed. His legs burn and he just can't go on anymore, he crumbles to the ground, hot tears spill down his cheeks but he can't hear how hard he's sobbing. Can barely breathe. Feels like he's underwater and can't move, can't think, can't do anything. There is wetness, gashing out of his legs, his stomach, his arms.  
  
And then there is nothing at all._  
  
Kurt wakes up with a start on the floor of his bedroom. Ever since the anniversary he can't sleep in his bed. His body jumping at the realization it can move. There is a vibration on the floor, his phone is buzzing, bright screen lighting up and he scrambles to stop it.   
  
His heart nearly stops when he sees an unknown number calling him, it's three in the morning, and with his throat chocking on a breath he presses the answer button. 'Blaine?' he doesn't even mean to whisper, but his voice is unused to talking, sore from lack of use.  
  
'Come outside, pet.' That's all before the line drops. It was Blaine's voice and he finds himself getting up slowly, quietly making his way out of the bathroom and up the stairs. Leaves the phone on the table, he won't be needing it anymore.   
  
Carole and Burt have gone to bed long ago, the house is oddly still, he feels like a criminal getting out of his own house, feet treading lightly. He doesn't even think to bring a coat, or shoes, just silently opens the front door, closes it just the same and then turns around.  
  
There is a black jeep, still on, and Blaine is outside of it. Kurt is walking over to him in a trance, it still feels like this is a dream. He reaches out to touch Blaine's outstretched hand with his own.   
  
 _They connect._  Blaine pulls him close with it, presses a kiss to Kurt's lips, 'mine,' he whispers, seals the word with another kiss. Kurt lets himself be lead to the vehicle, Blaine buckles him into the passenger seat and then gets in on the drivers side. 'Did you think I forgot about you, pet?' he asks Kurt, and starts to slowly pull out of the neighborhood.  
  
Kurt is still reeling from his dream, from the fact that it's Blaine, who he thought he'd never see again. It has been days and days of blankness, he doesn't even know how long it's been. He's imagined this so many times, he still fears he's going to wake up and have to be by himself again. 'I was lost,' he whispers, the words drifting into the fragile air between them. 'I still think I'm going to wake up and you're going to be a dream.'  
  
'You dream about me a lot then?' Blaine is getting them onto the highway, they are the lone car on it with their headlights shining brightly in front.   
  
'There isn't a moment where I'm not thinking about you.' He is shaking, his hands coming together in his lap, they won't be still. 'Isn't that what you wanted?'   
  
A hand in his hair, thumb sliding at the skin behind his ear, he stops trembling. 'I just wanted you safe, but yes, mine too.' Blaine's fingers fall down to Kurt's hands that clutch at him tight. In front of them there is nothing but empty road, Kurt lets out a breath, holds Blaine's hand to his stomach with both of his. 'Kurt? What did they do to you while I was away?'   
  
'Nothing,' Kurt says truthfully, he was never forced to press charges against Blaine. Never was forced to go to the doctors, Carole and Burt were waiting him out. They didn't press for information because they already knew all of what the police had found and that hadn't painted such a pretty picture. 'They could never look at me, not in the eye, not without such sadness,' he couldn't look at them either. Ashamed that it had been found, that he still held onto the collar. Every time they looked at him they would look at his bound wrist, he could feel their judgement, it choked him daily. 'Why did you give me the collar?'  
  
Blaine hums a bit to himself, taps his fingers on the steering wheel a little, 'I thought it would keep you grounded until I showed up.' Kurt looks down at the leather wrapped around his wrist, it had helped the first few days, the rest were just a blur. Maybe if he had put it around his neck at night, but he couldn't risk Carole or Burt seeing that.   
  
'How long are we driving for?' He can feel how tired his body is, but his mind won't let him sleep not with Blaine so near. It's about the only thing that makes him think this is not a dream.  
  
'You are full of questions tonight. Just a little longer, have to get out of the state and then we'll stop off at a motel, make our way to the west coast day by day.' He says it very lightly, but Kurt can see the stress in his shoulders, the stiff posture. If there is anything he knows, it's Blaine.   
  
'It'll be okay,' he says, brings up Blaine's hand to kiss the knuckles. Blaine chuckles, small tension radiating off for a bit.   
  
'I don't know how well I can trust the person who thinks they're dreaming,' he replies, still focused on the road in front.   
  
Kurt smiles at him regardless, 'it's a really good dream though.' He brings their hands back down to his lap, traces over Blaine's skin with a fingertip. 'One I hope that lasts forever.' Blaine's so familiar, he breathes him in. There is no darkness with Blaine nearby, no bad thoughts, just them against the world. He leans further back in the seat, closes his eyes to rest them. 'Could you sing for me?' he remembers Blaine used to sing to him when he got really bad. After a particular bad punishment, or just when Kurt would spontaneously burst into tears.   
  
Blaine tightens his hold on Kurt's hands, voice soft as he complies and they drive on.  
  
  
When the sun starts to shine, Kurt sits back up, Blaine pulls out dark sunglasses for them to put on, hats over their hair as cars slowly start making their way onto the highway. Kurt sings for Blaine now, old songs that he heard back before Blaine, he hasn't really heard anything since, but his catalog of Beatles songs are always good to fall back on. He's never sung for Blaine, only to himself when the silence got too loud in the house or in the cage, but now he'd sing every song he knew or until he lost his voice for him.   
  
They stop eventually at a motel on the fringe of society. Kurt doesn't even see a gas station in this town, or a local grocery store. Blaine pays while Kurt waits by the car, they don't take off their sunglasses until the door behind them is closed and locked.   
  
It should feel weird like this, after being so close but unable to touch except for hands and a small kiss. Yet, Kurt just melts in Blaine's arms when he hugs him close. Lets Blaine kiss down his neck and bite at his skin. It's like coming home, normal, and Kurt's legs quiver with wanting to drop to show his gratitude. He doesn't though, Blaine strips the bed of the cover sheet, blankets it with one stowed away in the large dresser and then presses Kurt down onto it.   
  
Blaine crouches above him, hand wraps around Kurt's head and their lips crash together. Kurt nearly blanks out on the taste and touch of Blaine so close again. He is so overwhelmed, whimpering into Blaine's mouth, pulling them together so every body part lines up and he is crushed into the mattress. Kurt can't stop touching, smoothing his hands under Blaine's shirt, he needs this to be real, if he wakes up from this, he doesn't know what he'll do.   
  
Their lips are swollen when they part, Blaine rolls them over to their sides, leans his forehead against Kurt's, 'time for sleep now,' he sounds exhausted. Kurt can see the true-tell signs of Blaine's insomnia, his eyes are rimmed red, black around his eyelids. He kisses Kurt once more, 'sweet dreams, pet.'   
  
Kurt doesn't know if it's his own tiredness finally catching up on him, or Blaine's command, but he's falling to sleep faster than he can even blink.  
  
 _He's back at Carole and Burt's house. It's so late, the stars twinkling up above him and he's leaving the house. The door is shut, and he walks away. He doesn't see the other houses, doesn't notice the cuts on his bare feet because he needs to do this. The moon lights his path and he crosses over pavement and cement alike until he comes up to dirt and grass.  
  
Grave markers make him realize where he is. He doesn't recall seeing a cemetery so close to town, but he keeps walking regardless. Dragging his bloody feet across the decaying bodies hidden six feet under. Kurt can't feel the pain, can't feel the harsh wind against his bare arms, just keeps walking like he always does.   
  
He stumbles, not watching where he's going, right over one of the markers. It cuts him at the leg, the blood seeping into the stone. There are two graves here, far away from the others. They're close together, and Kurt can imagine the hands reaching out down below to clasp the others. He can't read the names on the stone, not because they're blurred, or faded, but something in his gut tells him that he won't like what he sees.   
  
'Kurt?' he looks around, behind him is Blaine, dressed, shoes on, stepping closer to him.   
  
'I was looking for you,' Kurt tells him, not getting off the dirt floor. The names, he doesn't want to know, but he still aches to look back at them.  
  
'I found you,' Blaine replies, 'don't look at them Kurt, it's no fun to ruin the ending at the middle of a story.'   
  
'How did you know I would follow you even after everything that you did to me? Why do I keep following you?' He can't move, can't take his eyes off Blaine's.  
  
'Psychologists would say Stockholm Syndrome.' He dusts off his jacket, 'could you have picked a more depressed place to have this conversation, should fuck you over one of these stones to punish you.'   
  
Kurt doesn't even listen to what Blaine's threatening, 'what would you say?'  
  
Blaine smirks, kneels down next to Kurt, 'I would say that you are trying to punish the people who waited so long to find you. Deep down you resent them for taking so long, and maybe the world just didn't care that one gay kid had gone missing. They didn't even find you, someone else told them where you were, gave them to you. You want them to suffer, even if it means you have to suffer too.' He kisses Kurt briefly, 'So selfish baby, I told you before, but this really takes the cake.'  
  
'I don't-' Kurt starts.  
  
'Oh but you do dear one. You didn't even try to get yourself back together. You don't even remember your step brother. You don't care for anyone anymore.' Blaine is beaming now, 'least of all, yourself. But you gave me that a long time ago.' He reaches for the button on the now shredded jeans that Kurt is wearing. 'Also,' he says, lowering the clothing down Kurt's legs and flinging them somewhere, hands on his bare skin now, 'you remember how it was to be alone. To be in that awful place where no one cared about you. Not really, your friends weren't concerned, your family didn't pay attention. You were crying out and the only person that howled back was me.' He pulls out a small bottle of all-too familiar lube from his pocket, Kurt's turning around before he even says a word. Hands and knees in the dirt, if he looks up he'll see the names on the markers, he keeps his gaze lowered. Fingers don't even hesitate at his hole, pushing in and Blaine is covering his back, his clothes scratching along Kurt's bare skin. 'And now? After everything I did to you? How much you enjoyed it? Would you ever be able to be with anyone else? You told me that I was it for you.' Three fingers now, Kurt struggles to remain upright. 'Who would want you after they found out about what you did? How much you crave me even when I'm hurting you. Could you see yourself moving on from that? It's why you gave yourself to me. This world is much too harsh for you precious.' The fingers pull out, Kurt takes a breath preparing himself for what's next.  
  
Blaine thrusts in, slow, but so forceful, his clothes aren't even off, just pulled away enough to get his cock out. Kurt clenches his hands into the dirt, can feel it under his fingernails as Blaine begins to move. 'Could you stand to go back to being so lonely, my pet? No. So you waited, and you'll always come back to me because you know that without me, well, you aren't anything then, are you?'  
  
He fucks into Kurt harder, Kurt's biting on his lip because Blaine is doing this to  **hurt** , and he hates how right Blaine is. Every little thing, he can't dispute anything Blaine's said. He's not even hard, not that Blaine cares like this, breaking him in like a bad animal. His hand locks into Kurt's hair and forces his neck to bend or risk cracking his spine. He closes his eyes automatically, can't look, can't look at that.   
  
Blaine's mouth starts biting at the bottom of his neck, lavishes it with his tongue and then biting twice as hard. He's close, his hips are moving quicker, out of sync, and more brutal than before. Kurt can't even get the breath to scream or make any sound, he's just waiting for this all to be over.   
  
' **Mine** ,' Blaine growls the word as he comes, rocking into Kurt just a few more times before he pulls out and lets go of Kurt's hips. Kurt drops to the ground, panting into the dirt and tasting it on his lips.   
_  
  
Kurt startles himself when he wakes. His body tight and tense and the dream still lingering in his subconscious, he can still taste dirt in his mouth, feel the grit underneath his fingernails and Blaine is holding him tight. He's never asked Blaine about what he dreams about, but if they are as fucked up as Kurt's, then he probably doesn't want to know. There is no way to pull himself away from Blaine like this, and he's surprised that Blaine isn't up yet. He's pressed up against Blaine's shirt, they've never slept in clothes together. It's definitely a difference.  
  
He's scared, he realizes, heart thumping in his chest. Today is much clearer after some sleep, after that nightmare. He is back with Blaine, someone he spent at least a year and a half trying to get away from. Yet, he knows what to expect from Blaine now, he is still a little afraid of him, of how he can make Kurt feel, what he can make him do. Still, this has to be better, it will be.  
  
Blaine's arms tighten and then loosen, he rolls Kurt over to his back and straddles him. 'Good afternoon, pet,' he doesn't wait to lean down and kiss. Kurt opens his mouth, presses back, and holds onto Blaine's hips. Blaine slides his hands down Kurt's sides, coming around the back and grab at his ass, he nips at Kurt's lips. 'Wish we had more time,' he whispers, forcing Kurt's hips to rock against his own. Kurt can feel him, is not the least shocked to feel the bulge against his body, he can feel his own start to grow the longer Blaine moves them.   
  
Their kiss grows hungry, Kurt welcomes Blaine's tongue into his mouth, presses them closer together. His hands sliding underneath Blaine's shirt to get to skin, his legs getting more of a stance on the bed so he can roll his hips harder into Blaine's. He whimpers when one of Blaine's hands slip under the denim and boxers, still at his ass, a dry finger between the crack and just lightly brushing against his hole. Kurt's grip on Blaine increases, he works his hips back against the finger, 'please,' he begs between saliva slipping kisses. It burns when it forces itself in, he's never been taken without lube, Blaine, even on his darkest days, didn't want to break him. The lone finger can't go far, it's been so long and without something to help, Kurt can't help but tense at the intrusion no matter how much he wants it. 'Won't you fuck me?' he asks, knows that there has to at least be lube in the suitcase Blaine brought up with them last night.   
  
The hand gets pulled out from his jeans, 'you want it that much, pet?' Blaine smirks, sitting up and reaching over to the suitcase. 'We don't have much time, we really do need to get moving.'  
  
'I don't care, please,' he starts to unbutton Blaine's jeans, can feel how hot and hard he is through them. 'I know you need it too.' Blaine unzips one of the side pockets, Kurt can see the label even before he pulls it out and gets back on top of Kurt.   
  
'Alright, pet,' he drizzles lube over three of his fingers, Kurt hastens to undo his jeans, pulling them down his legs along with the boxers. He grabs a pillow, gets it under his hips and when Blaine gets between his legs, he positions them over Blaine's shoulders. Blaine doesn't waste anymore time, he slinks in one quick, then skips over two and goes to three. Kurt groans at the pace, but he knows it's what he asked for. The three burn as much as the first dry one did, but these keep pressing in and out. Blaine's purposely missing his prostate, spreading Kurt's ass with his free hand and staring at the way Kurt's body takes in his fingers. 'I think that's enough,' he slips his hands free, slicks up his cock, and Kurt nods. He's still sore from them, but if they really don't have time... He brings his hands down to Blaine's jeans, pulls them and his boxers down until his cock is out. 'Oh,' Blaine leans over, sucks the head of Kurt's cock into his mouth for a few short seconds, 'such a good pet.'   
  
Kurt can't stop letting out small moans of pleasure, especially at that. He pulls himself up, grabs at Blaine's shoulders and presses their lips together just as Blaine's cock starts to thrust inside. It's just one hard thrust until he's buried in and Kurt's wail gets muted by Blaine's mouth. Blaine wraps his arms up around Kurt's back, tugging him up and up until he's on Blaine's lap, it feels even fuller this way, almost like that night where his wrists got all bloody but so much better. He lifts himself up and drops, never letting their lips part. Blaine's hands hold onto his sides, helps him rock down harder. With this position, Kurt doesn't even need a hand to his own aching cock, it slides between their shirts gaining delirious friction. He's going to come so early, but he doesn't think Blaine's going to last much longer either. He's keening into Kurt's mouth, bites at his bottom lip. One his hands lets go of Kurt's sides and Kurt knows before the slap to his ass that it was going to happen.   
  
'Come on,' Kurt words get mumbled by the kisses, his legs are burning in his position, but he doesn't mind. Using them to go faster, Blaine's cock is hitting just right at his prostate, he makes Blaine lean back just a little and the brush of it is all he needs, coming in between both of them. Blaine doesn't hold back because of that, he continually smacks Kurt's ass, it makes Kurt clench tighter around him. His hips thrusting up and nips down Kurt's neck, bites at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. He growls into Kurt's collarbone as he comes, keeps moving his hips until Kurt whines at the oversensitivity.   
  
Kurt picks himself up and off of Blaine's cock but can't go far with Blaine's hands still on him. He can feel the come in his ass starting to slip out and onto the sheet below. He pulls off his own shirt, it's got his own come on it and uses it to carefully wipe Blaine's off his skin. Blaine grabs him by the hand though, 'wait,' and he pulls at the suitcase again, back to the pocket. 'Want my come inside you,' he kisses Kurt and then pulls out a small plug.   
  
Kurt stays still as Blaine slathers it up, doesn't even blink or flinch when it's pressed inside him. After Blaine is sure it's secure he stands up and tucks his cock back into the boxers, buttons his pants back up. Kurt slides on his own jeans, a bit more careful now, and watches as Blaine strips his own come splattered shirt and replaces it with a sweatshirt. Without even asking, he pulls another one out and hands it to Kurt. 'Thank you,' Kurt slips it over his head and stands awkwardly while Blaine goes to the bathroom to wash his hands.   
  
'Lets go,' he grabs the suitcase with one hand, offers the other to Kurt.   
  
He gladly slides his hand in Blaine's, he's made his choice before he ever got rescued. He walks with Blaine out to the car, ready to go into hiding just to be with him. The scary dream won't keep him away. Nothing will.


End file.
